Nicki&thePips

Chapter 18

When Nicki was ready for bed she turned on her bedside table lamp and pulled Jade's 'diary' from underneath her pillow.

Day 5

The stupid RayRay boy who believed that he owned the place had finally gotten the chance to tell me the 'rules'.

"Okay first of all little girl, this is practically my house and everyone follows my rules." He said pointing to his chest as if he was the big boss. "Number one rule: Do not leave the foster home. Just don't. It is far too dangerous out there for anyone to go by themselves and no one can leave without my permission." He spoke in a cool tone as if he knew for sure that I would be intimidated by him. Boy was he wrong.

"And the only other rule is that I'm in charge and what I say goes . . . I notice you have a bit of an attitude so just watch it." Ray Ray growled.

I nodded to him as if I had any intention of listening to what he said. I really didn't.

That night I decided to take a walk to get away from all those annoying kids and possibly find some food because getting a decent meal in that place was not possible. There was too little to eat and too many children to feed. But the walk didn't go so well.

I had stumbled into the middle of a shootout. And there are very few things I hate more than guns. As stated in my previous Diary/book/memoire I was shot when I was younger and it has turned me off of guns completely.

"Wait Jade was shot when she was younger?" Nicki asked herself. "But she's only seven now . . . how old was she when she wrote this? And is there seriously another or well previous book?" Nicki sighed.

I was hiding behind a trash can shaking. Just the sound of the shots cause pain to shoot through my leg. I hated this. I would have cried but I swore to never cry again. I was trying to calculate a way for me to return to the foster home when I heard an all too familiar scream.

It was Perrie cryng near the dumpster not too far away from me. How did she get here? She looked absolutely terrified. She kept on screaming and yelling about aliens. I wanted to go and shut her up because she could have drawn attention to herself and more importantly me. But I was too scared to move. I sat and closed my eyes trying to recite time tables from one to fifty. Math always helped me to calm down.

After what had to be two hours –I know because my brain is like a clock as well I'm kind of a genious, the gunshots stopped. Perrie ran from next to the dumpster and wrapped herself around me.

"Jade you could have gotten hurt!" She cried her eyes wet.

I would usually respond to Perrie touching me in any way with violence but this time I let her hug me. I'm not sure why I did but it was almost like I needed human contact at this time. It was a while since I've been hugged and hearing those shots made me remember how much I wanted somebody at that time.

"But don't worry Jade . . . If we get adopted we would be safe. We'd never have to go through things like this." Perrie said.

And it was at those words I realized that I didn't want to live like this anymore. I wanted to be a normal child with parents who would treasure me. I wanted to live in a home where I didn't have to wonder where the next meal was coming from. I wanted my own story where there was a happy ending. I wanted to forget all the horrible things that I've been through . . . all the things I pretended to not be afraid of when on the inside I was terrified. I wanted to be able to show my emotions without feeling weak for it.

But most of all I wanted to get away from the thing I feared most. It was sad knowing that even if I got everything else that thing would always follow me around. And that was the saddest part. So I started to cry while Perrie held me . . . there was no hope but I had to try.