POTS ~ The struggle of standing

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Juno's pov:

"I just want to keep seeing him smile."

"We all do, Juno. Have you tried talking with Eliot about this?"

"Well, no, but-"

"You can't keep excusing your distance." He knew. But living a fantasy hurt less than facing real life. That was often the case. "Do you think I haven't noticed you keeping more to yourself? You're supposed to tell me things, Juno. That's how friendships works! Why do you think I called you in the first place? I wanted to talk to you, because I need you to listen to my heart and my problems. And you're not doing that right now. "

"I-... I'm sorry" was Hazel okay? Had he been so self-centred that he couldn't even notice then his friend was hurting? "I'm s-sorry, Hazel." What more could he say? What more should he say?

"I need you to breathe, Juno.Maybe we could revisit it later?" Juno knew well, that that meant never. He didn't have the energy to stand his ground. Agreed silently and changed the subject. It was what he was supposed do to. And Hazel needed him to be there for them. So that was the role he would act as. For Hazel.

"How're you doing, Hazel. Are you ready for the upcoming exams? Sorry I haven't been there so much for you lately."

Another week went by in the blink of an eye. What a complete and utter lie. It went on for gruesomely long. And of course it did. The harsh moments never seem to stray from the corner of his eyes.

"We had a test" Hazel told him, when Juno had finally noticed their way too silent behaviour in their conversation that evening. "Everything that could have gone wrong, did."

How so? His voice echoed in his head.

They explained. It was the annual test in her favourite class: her line of study. It had gone really well. They wrote a lot. Used the right terminology. It had felt almost too good to be true. "I was actually proud of myself."

That line stuck with him.

"Hazel-." His shoulders felt a little less cold now. As if he was patting her imaginary shoulder in the hope that it would comfort them; them both. And it did. Though it was never a thought he shared. The simple thought of being there for someone was enough. For now, it did help.

And maybe too much. Hazel couldn't hold their tears back any longer. A sov was heard.  She had not cried in the moment. Is was only looking back on it, that made her chest contract. The wind was strong. Mirroring her fragile mental state. The likeness was frightening. The grass was damp. Juno had goosebumps spreading under his hoodie. His friend was hurt. And he wasn't even there to be with her physically. What a useless friend he was.

"Then everything went wrong... I had forgotten to save my document along the way. And suddenly it was gone. The last 5 hours I had just spent writing were now gone. Gone."

Like water hurled to the bottom of the sea. I tried getting help. We looked for my missing water in all the clouds, hoping it would rain down on us again. Touch our skin and show us the sensation of familiarity. But it was sunny. My water was nowhere to be found. (casually out here being a poet.)

"I'm sorry you're failed your test. Especially when it wasn't your fault, but the feelings you're experiencing will disperse eventually. And as you said, it wasn't your final exam. It will fade away, and end up forgotten. And that's okay, because it was just a test."

"And you need to get your sh*t together with Eliot. Otherwise the outcome will be the same, you know."

He took a deep breath before answering. "Yeah, I know."

The conversation always ended up being about him. And about Eliot. He was conflicted about Eliot and sad over Hazel's exam, but he thought he could take one thing at a time. He was sure it would end up okay in the end.

It didn't seem like Hazel had come to the same conclusion.

"Want to vent to me over today?" He asked. Right now, Hazel should be his primary focus. Eliot and he would have to wait. And maybe they still had time. He hoped they did.

(Hey Raindrops! Glad to be back with a new update. I know my updates are scarce and few in between. But such is life. I do like the stable of writing this story from time to time.

I have been focusing primarily on mental health throughout this story as of yet, with physical health popping up now and again. Is there anything you would want more of?

Also what pairings would you like to see more off? What character wouod you like to see interact more? Have a splendid evening, my raindrops! And can we just appreciate 18K views! Appreciate it!)