Chapter 29: Almost as much as pumpkin hot chocolate

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Rose and I have been sitting on the couch in the living room for the last couple of hours, but neither of us has spoken since about ten minutes into sitting down. It's not a problem though: sometimes it's nice to sit in silence together. I've been watching the window from across the room, where a snowstorm rages on. Rose has been alternating between being on her phone and painting her nails.

It's when I see her blowing softly on her fingernails to dry them that I finally say something.

"That's a nice color on you," I say.

Rose has painted her nails a deep red. Even from all the way on the other side of the couch, I can see the shimmer from the topcoat.

"Thanks," she says and then she glances over at my own fingernails. "Can I do yours?"

I notice that she says, "can I" rather than "do you want me to?" I don't know why, but this makes all the difference. It turns a phrase that might otherwise sound obligatory to something that sounds like she wants to.

"Sure," I say, and I inch closer. "Thanks."

"This is the only color that I have," Rose says. "I let Liz borrow the rest of my polishes."

I've never worn red polish before. I always felt like it just didn't compliment me very well. Whenever I've tried, I always ended up removing it and replacing it with something else. Something safer. Red has always felt too bold for me.

Maybe if our lives were a little different, I'd care more about something like that. I might tell Rose that I think that I've got other colors that I would look better in or feel more comfortable wearing. But right now, I don't care. I want Rose to paint my nails whatever color she wants to. I just want to be here with her.

Leo, Mikey, and Donnie are still missing, and I know that we're both still thinking about it. The days are getting darker and colder, and there have been more storms. I have been having nightmares about Leo and when I wake up, there's always a pit in my stomach that I can't call him and ask if he's okay. I've tried. But it always goes straight to voicemail. And then I cry until the sun comes up.

So if I can just have this time with my sister to focus on something as mundane and simple as painting nails together, I'll take it. If I don't, I think I'll go crazy with worry about things that I can't control.

When she asks me if I want to file my nails in a certain shape, I tell her to choose. When she asks if I want my toes painted, I tell her it's up to her. I just want Rose to take the reins on this.

Just as she's finishing up, the front door pushes open. Rose and I are both terrible at concealing our surprise when we see both Mom and Dad walk in. They're both bundled up in coats and covered in snow. Mom has snowflakes decorating the top of her hair, and I can't help but think that she looks like a queen of some sort. Her nose and cheeks are rosy from the cold, and Dad stands behind her, shivering a bit.

"Um...hey," Rose says, the first to speak. She twists the cap back onto the nail polish.

"You both look freezing," I say, laughing a little bit.

"Really? It's not too bad," Dad says, his tone light. "Like negative fifty?"

Mom rolls her eyes and turns back to us. "It's not that cold. Are you girls hungry?"

Rose and I share a glance and then both shrug our shoulders, almost simultaneously.

"We were thinking that we could all go out together for Christmas dinner," Dad says, rubbing his hands together for warmth. "How does that sound?"

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