Our Indefinable Love

ten - love is indifferent

All of my anxious worries seemed to fade away as soon as I opened the door and looked up into his big green eyes. I was hauntingly scared at how familiar this sight had become to me and how easily affected I was by it.

He wore a plain grey top with black trousers and white converse. It amazed me how he could make something so casual and plain look so damn good. I had been so busy checking him out I hadn't noticed that he was gripping a small bunch of flowers in his right hand and a box of chocolates in his left.

'Who are those for?' I asked plainly, pointing at them.

I hoped he would say they were for my mum; to apologise for the far from traditional first meeting they had last night. This would be the easier answer. I could handle this answer. But I couldn't ignore the burning longing in the pit of my stomach that wanted more than anything for them to be for me. This however was the more difficult answer to deal with.

'Oh, I didn't know if you were a flowers or a chocolates kind of gal so, I got you both.' He replied with a warm smile.

Noah had chosen the difficult answer. He chose to ignite something in me that even I didn't understand and I don't even know if I want to understand it.

'That's really sweet Noah, thank you,' I replied, mirroring his smile before taking the flowers and chocolates into the house and setting them down on the kitchen table. I whipped my head around looking for him, thinking he had followed me in. 'you are welcome to come in you know. I promise no sudden interruptions from my mother this time.' I called back out to him from the kitchen, grabbing my purse.

'That's okay, I'll just wait out here.' I heard him call from the front garden. Clearly last night had scared him from ever coming in here again, good going mum.

I ran quickly out the front door, so as not to keep him waiting. We started to walk towards his car when I caught him sneaking glances at me.

'What?' I asked stopping in my tracks. 'Is there some toothpaste on my face?' I started feeling all around my mouth while watching an amused smile grow on Noah's face.

'You have no idea, do you?' He asked, staring straight into my eyes. I could feel the tingling sensation firing up again inside me.

'What do you mean?' I replied with a subtle hesitance in my voice.

'You have no idea how beautiful you are.' He replied plainly with a concerning lack of self-doubt.

And that's when the fiery burning sensation took over my whole body. I could feel my cheeks redden with every passing second and my mouth grew suddenly dry, so much so that I couldn't get a word out. I could only manage an inaudible "oh" sound.

If this was how he was making me feel before we had even left my front garden, I dreaded to think about how I would be after we got back. It was the strangest kind of emotion; half of me wanted this to go all smooth sailing, to have an effortlessly wonderful day with him. But at the same time I felt like fighting with every fibre of my being against the burning passion he caused within me. Yet still after all of that, every time those green eyes look my way I feel like hanging up the boxing gloves for good.

'Come on, let's get going.' Noah said, grabbing my hand and guiding me towards his car.

The car journey went much like this; sneaking glances, our hands brushing past each other, fluttering butterflies in my stomach and all the while my heart was racing, beating hard against my chest.

I was relieved when he finally pulled into the nearby park. All around there was gleeful children, swinging and sliding with the faint smell of sweat mixed with vanilla ice-cream hanging in the air.