Our Indefinable Love

nineteen - love is defeated

Noah breaks away from me at the sound of knocking coming from the bedroom door.

'Who is it?' I shout, still perched on the edge of the bed.

'Oh, I don't know.' Said the muffled voice from behind the door. 'Who could it possibly be? It's definitely not someone who actually lives here, that's for sure.'

Noah and I exchanged a knowing glance. It was Will, being his usual sarcastic self.

'Okay, I'm coming in. There better not be any funny business going on in here.' He laughed heartily at his own joke before opening the door rather abruptly.

Will must have literally just rolled out of bed. His hair was ruffled slightly at the front and he rubbed his eyes in an attempt to adjust to the morning light that was breaking through the window. But most prominent of all was his clothing choice. Or rather, his non - clothing choice. He was wearing only a pair of tracksuit bottoms that hung loosely at his sides. I found myself staring at his face to stop my eyes from wandering elsewhere.

'I can't believe the injustices in this world. Look Ella, Will can't even afford a shirt.' Noah taunted with a side smirk.

'He's just jealous because he'll never have abs like these.' Will retorted sharply, throwing a wink in my direction.

'Ladies, ladies you're both beautiful.' I closed, trying to make light of a situation that I could see quickly getting out of hand.

'How are you feeling now?' Will asked, pulling the seat from the desk opposite to sit on.

'I'm fine, I guess.'

'You don't sound so sure.' He quickly responded, his eyes searching.

I quickly looked at Noah; he was looking down into his hands as though plotting something.

'No, I am. I'm just getting sick of this.' I say rubbing my forehead with my hand.

'You're telling me. I don't think I can handle any more of these either; I panicked so bad last night, it's a good job Noah got here when he did.'

'You were right to call me.' Noah perked up as if he had been rehearsing the correct way to go about expressing what he wanted to say. 'If this ever happens again you have to tell me. I don't care where you are, you have got to let me know. Because who knows what would happen if I wasn't there?' He whispers at the end as though it hurts him to even think about it.

Will and I nod simultaneously. We both know that Noah is the only thing that seems to calm me down when everything gets hazy. But the question on both of our minds is why? When he draws in a shaky breath in my ear, why does that calm mine? How can a few simple words that escape softly from his lips quiet the vicious demons that scream in my mind?

'Speaking of which, there is another person who needs to know. I understand that I can't force you but I personally think it's important, especially now that this has happened more than once.' Noah states simply, taking control of this majorly scattered situation.

'Who are you talking about?' I ask curiously.

'Your mum.'

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I reached out my hand to open the door handle when I noticed the violent shake that was radiating throughout my entire body. I had never before been so frightened to enter the doors of my own home.

It wasn't that I was afraid of my mum. She was one of the most understanding people in the world and frankly, I was surprised at myself that I had failed to relate this knowledge to her by now. We usually tell each other everything, our relationship depends on the truth seeing as how our family was previously torn apart by lies.