Our Indefinable Love

thirteen - love is remembering

I hesitantly opened the car door and stepped out, slinging my bag over my shoulder all the while staring at Noah's face trying to read the emotion he might be feeling.

His face showed a mixture of hurt and anger and I worried about what might happen next. Will better not do anything to provoke him, or all hell might break loose. I glanced over at Will with the corner of my eye, he was also exiting the car and didn't even seem to notice Noah yet.

I walked over to Noah, throwing him a bright smile thinking maybe this would ease his anger. But he just stared back at me blankly before saying,

'What the hell is going on here, Ella?'

Will had finally noticed him now and replied to him while walking closer and closer in his direction, 'Calm down O'Brien, you're such a hot head sometimes! We were just having some alone time, weren't we Ella?'

I shot him a dirty look and he held his hands up in a surrendering fashion. Then looking back at Noah I said, 'Don't listen to him, I was just running a little bit late this morning so he offered me a lift, okay? No big deal.'

But he wasn't even listening to me never mind looking at me. He was too preoccupied with glaring at Will.

'Ella, go inside. You're going to be late.' Noah replied, still not looking at me.

'Okay, but you're coming with me.' I answered, taking his hand in an attempt to drag him in through the front doors.

'No.' He sharply stated shaking his hand free from my tight grasp. 'Go inside right now.'

They were both still glaring at each other maliciously, stepping closer and closer to each other. There was no way I was going to let Noah get hurt because of me again.

I quickly stepped in front of Noah and turned so that I was facing Will. Now was my chance to reason with him since clearly Noah had made up his mind that he wasn't going anywhere. Noah was grabbing my sides to try to get me to move out of the way but I was not backing down.

'I have no idea why you two are always fighting, but what I do know is that I can't let you anymore. It's stupid and immature and I'm not going to sit on the sidelines and watch both of you get hurt again.'

'Ella, would you just stay out of this? It has nothing to do with you!' Will replied bitterly through his teeth.

I suddenly started to feel shaky when I realised the last time I had heard those words.

○ ○ ○ ○

'You were with her again, weren't you?'

I was sitting upstairs in my bedroom floor, staring at the door, feeling the walls shake with every loud exclamation that came from downstairs.

'Maybe I wouldn't have to go out if I had something decent to come home to!'

My father's voice echoed through the whole house, bellowing, booming.

'What about that little girl upstairs, John? Isn't she something worth coming home to?'

'Don't you DARE bring her into this! This is about us Karen. It's always been about us!'

'That's right. Just brush the fact that you are no longer a father to her under the carpet, hide it away. Forget about it just like you make yourself forget about it every morning when you wake up!'

'What are you talking about, woman?! I will always be her father no matter what!'

I couldn't take it anymore, something had snapped within me. No more was I going to sit upstairs haunted by their voices. I ran downstairs into the kitchen and stepped in front of my mum, holding her hand. I turned to face my dad with a tear-stained face.