Our Indefinable Love

seventeen - love is painful

I had once again found myself standing in Will's front yard, with an uneasy panic resting in the bottom of my stomach.

What am I doing here? Nothing about this is a good idea.

As if reading my mind, Will threw his arm around my shoulder in a reassuring fashion.

'Don't look so worried, I promise you're going to have fun.'

'I wouldn't make promises like that, Will.' I responded quickly, shrugging out of his grip.

He was wounded only momentarily by my soft rejection to his touch. Something about his eyes made me think he wasn't going to back down easily.

We were finally inside and the unfamiliarity of the people that surrounded me was daunting. This fear was mixed unhealthily with the sudden realisation of just how badly I had messed up with Noah today to create an anxious flutter that tingled throughout my entire body. Boy did I need a drink.

The popular host was lost in a sea of people, flocking to greet him. I guess I was just going to have to help myself then. I made my way to what I presumed was the kitchen to find the whole table was completely full with arrangement of choices for an alcoholic beverage.

I simply grabbed the first thing I could get my hands on, poured it into a glass, before downing it all in one large gulp. With every drink, I felt the swarming worries in my head cease, the anxious feeling was eased. And although my vision was starting to blur, for the first time today I felt completely in control.

'Woah slow down there, missy.' Will grabbed the cup from my hands and placed it back down on the kitchen table. Nothing like a good patronising tone to take away any feeling of self-control I once possessed.

'How many have you had?' He asked with a worried expression evident on his face.

'Th-three...four...' I replied, trying to count using my fingers. But my eyes were now making me see double. Maybe I had drunk too much, but I didn't care. I finally felt free. I outstretched my hand in an attempt to grab my recently confiscated drink.

'Oh no, the only thing you're going to drink right now is a glass of water.' Will said walking over to the tap to fill a glass.

'You are the one who told me to have some fun,' I replied unwillingly taking the glass of water he placed in front of me into my hands. 'Why did you even bother inviting me?' I blurted out, alcohol made me rather direct apparently.

'I obviously did want you to have fun Ella, just the kind of fun that you'll be able to remember the next morning.' Will said with a cheeky wink.

'What is it with you and winking?' I ask, taking a sip of the water.

'What do you mean?' Will replied, leaning over the table, placing his chin in the palm of his hands.

'Like that day in English, why did you wink at me?' I asked curiously, giggling at the memory.

'Oh yeah, that.' He said with a side smirk. 'I don't know really. I guess I just thought you looked hot in those little jeans of yours.'

I suddenly felt a sharp pang in my chest; I knew I had given him the wrong idea by coming here.

'Will, I thi-'

'-I know, I know,' He interrupted, waving his hands up to stop me from talking. 'You don't like me like that plus you have Noah, I get it.'

I breathed a sigh of relief, I was too tipsy to deal with such a serious conversation.

'I'm just letting you know now that the option is there, okay?' He said.