𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒

Brutal Honesty

Can't Live Without You~ Charlie Wilson
"Whatever I said, I didn't mean it like that"

Billie POV
"I just said it because it's how I was feeling. I'm not sure if I meant it or not." I told Victoria.

She nodded.

"How did she make you feel?" She asked me.

"Aroused.." I trailed off.

Victoria laughed.

"So basically; your ex-girlfriend shows back up—after 2 years, you realize that you still love her, you blurted it out by accident, and you don't know what to do?" Victoria recounted.

"Sorta." I mumbled with a shrug.

She nodded.

"I think you still harbor sexual feelings and attraction for Lyriq: I think you've always felt love about her. I think that you've suppressed yourself and your love for her, that you've missed out on a really good relationship. All those years ago—nearly three years by the way—could've been three years of boundary building, important bonding, and progression. But, nonetheless, you allowed just your perspective block you from that." Victoria concluded.

"But, like.. what she did—

"Billie, you chose to abandon the relationship. Maybe she just needed reassurance—maybe she didn't want a child. Maybe she felt pressured. I understand that she crossed the line by not allowing you to make decisions; but, she needed your support. She needed you to let her know that she made a bad decision; not a mistake. Relationships are about trust, cooperation, and wisdom." Victoria told me.

"You've got so much advice for someone that barely has a love life." I mumbled under my breath.

"Oh, darling, believe me; I have a love life. I'm legally restricted from filling you in on that or involving you." She chuckled with a smirk.

"Sure, you do." I rolled my eyes.

"Billie, if you can't reflect and see that she isn't the only person in the wrong here; you're not going to grow as a person. As humans, we make mistakes. As black women, we make bad decisions that only work in our favor. But, our survival isn't guaranteed—so, what's selfish is self respect." Victoria told me.

"I mean, I understand the perspective of Black women. You know, I can admit with no bias that a black woman's world is very contrast to mines—

"Billie, you won't truly under the perspective if it isn't your point of view. Now, as your therapist; I'm here to give you advice. But as an auntie from the south: girl, if you don't chill that shit out. Look, she was wrong, but, she expressed her reproductive rights—which don't always need the partner's consent." She started.

"You have to understand, she would've died on that death bed, she would've been on maternal leave from school, and work. When someone is putting themselves first—which, includes the right to abortion; it doesn't always need approval. For as long as I could remember; black women have always needed approval for something, just to prove we were human." She continued.

"But, I fully understand you felt betrayed. I fully understand that you wanted a say so. But, that isn't your job, it's hers. If she privately got one, that means she didn't feel comfortable expressing her concerns with you. That means upon your acknowledgement of that private abortion; you should've asked her why. You should've respected her decision. You should've worked with her." Victoria finished.

"B-but, she was supposed to tell me." I shook my head.

"Billie, in our other session; you told me that she was afraid of having an intersex woman as her child's father, that she was scared of potential death from birth, that she was scared of public scrutiny for having another child before being married or an adult. That's something you could've talked about with her. She's from a rough area—emotions, communication, bodily autonomy, and sexual education aren't valued. In a relationship, you are supposed to grow together. You blew up on her every time things didn't go your way, you tried to make her jealous, you allowed an outsider to shame her for making a choice with her own body, you abandoned that relationship." She disagreed with me.

"So, I owe her an apology?" I asked.

"You owe her growth. You weren't necessarily wrong, you just handled that situation very poorly. How could you reflect upon that moment; and essentially win Lyriq back?" Victoria asked me.

"I don't wanna win her back.." I denied.

She chucked softly.

"Now, I can't tell you what to do or get involved with your decision making; but I got nieces your age, I know when y'all are trying to win someone back. Cowardice doesn't allow you to admit it." Victoria voiced.

"Okay." I nodded. I stood, gathering my things.

Our session is done for the day.

"Another thing, don't feel as if I'm picking sides or being unfair. But, you date a black woman—you have to understand her culture. Understand?" Victoria stood with me.

"I understand." I replied.

——
"Liking your first day?" I asked Lyriq.

She's more cheerful than usual. Maybe whatever took a toll on her; is finally coming together?

"It's cool." She shrugged.

"What you been up to lately?" I asked her.

She shrugged again.

"Nothing much. Living." She replied.

I nodded.

"Only thing you can do until it's your last day. Am I right?" I nervously chuckled.

"Right." She replied.

"Hey, uh... if things are going better now, would you like to catch up?" I asked.

She thought for a while.

"Sure. Why not?" She replied.

I internally celebrated.

"I'll give you time to unwind after work. Just text me when you're free." I tried to play it cool.

Inside; I had a million fireworks exploding, right where my heart is.

"Alright. I will." She smiled.

I felt myself getting erected.

Damn, she's so sexy.