𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒

To Chicago We Go

Witchblades~ Lil Peep
"When I die bury me with all my ice on"

Robyn POV
"Luka! Come on please don't do this, I love you." I banged on my older brothers door

He left a suicide letter on my dresser this morning. I wasn't supposed to see it til later but I woke up early, I'm trying to talk him out of it but he's not listening.

"I'm not coming out, kiddo. I love you," I heard him sniffle

"Luka please? I don't wanna lose you." My voice cracked as I texted mom and let her know what was going on

"Goodbye, Robyn." He said then that's when I heard the bang

My entire body froze

*ping*
Mom: get somewhere safe. I'm on my way home

"Luka!" I yelled his name as I tried to open the door

Something heavy was blocking it

I heard no response from him as I pushed at his door, it cracking enough for me to step in

"Oh my god, Luka! No!" I screamed out as I saw him in a pool of his own blood

"Robyn, Luka! Where are you guys?" I heard mom's voice

"Mom!" I screamed, running out the room

"Oh my god! What happened?" She panicked as she saw blood on my shirt and hands

"He did it, Mom. H-he did it," I cried, falling to my knees

"He did what?" She asked

"Robyn, what the fuck happened?" Mathew asked

"Luka shot himself." My eyes started to sting

Mom backed up into the table, blinking repeatedly

"He what?" She asked

"He shot himself in the head, mom, I tried to save him." I began to cry

"It's not your fault baby, Mathew call the police." Mom held me

"I could've save him." I repeated over and over

That's the day my world came to an end. When Luka killed himself, he killed a part of me. I just wish I wouldn't have walked in on it; I have nightmares about the situation all the time.

Why? Why was he so selfish to do that to me? Why couldn't he be stronger? Those are always thoughts in the back of my mind. I know he was broken and hurt, but he scarred me so badly because I had to walk in on it. The anxiety I had from reading that letter then seeing him lock himself in his bedroom, then trying to talk him out of it; just to ultimately fail.

08.15 That's the day we lost our older brother. All because some stupid girl broke his heart and told him to kill himself.

"Robyn." My aunt Georgie waved her hand in front of my face

After Luka's death, mom sent us out here with our uncle in Chicago, Illinois. She just couldn't deal with the stress from Luka's death and balance being a mother. She still calls us though, I just wish I didn't have to leave New Jersey. I barely know Uncle Robert and his wife

"Oh sorry, yes?" I snapped back into reality

"I said, you need to get your boxes in your room. Also you and Mathew start school on Monday." She told me

"Okay I will." I replied lowly

"Thank you," she side hugged me

"Look kid, I know it's tough on you right now. I promise it will get better, just give it some time okay?" My uncle Robert told me

"Okay." I replied

"I love you, call us if you need anything." They said before leaving me alone

"Bro it's so many bad bitches out there." Mathew entered the house

"Oh cool." I replied

"I call dibs on the biggest room." He said

"Go ahead, I don't have much stuff anyway." I shrugged

"What's wrong with you man? You're so... I don't know," Mathew asked

"Nothing." I replied before taking my things into my room

This is perfect. It's in the back of the house away from everyone else... it's really big and I have a huge closet, not to mention a bathroom

There was already a bed and TV in the room, not much was decorated- I think they were waiting for one of us to decorate.

The bedsheets were white and pink

Ew I hate pink...

The TV was a 65 inch Smart Tv with the remote placed on the brown shelf.

At least the TV's big... not that I'll watch it but still

I placed my things on the floor then sat down on the bed, I laid back then looked up at the ceiling.

I wonder if Luka's in heaven, mom would always tell us how suicide gets you sent to hell but he was a very good person- you know what, I should stop thinking about him. Dad said I need to move forwards from his death but it's hard

I think about him all the time; it often clouds my mind.

I decided to unpack some of my things, putting all of my clothes on hangers in the closet then putting up my posters on the wall. I also put my led lights up then a black out curtain so it could be dark. I also put a black comforter on the king sized bed

"Wow, this looks cool." Uncle Robert stood by the doorway

"Thanks." I got down from the ladder

"Hey, we're going to the movies later. You wanna come?" He asked

"No I'll stay here," I shook my head

"Aw come on? You should explore Chicago at least, I mean I know it's not much here but it's a new landmark." Uncle Robert said

"Maybe." I sat on the bed

"Well if you do, just text me to let me know. Mathew's coming with us," uncle Robert said before leaving