ULTIMATE Doctor Who Book of Randomness (COMPLETED)

Series 1 Episode 1: Rose (Part 3)

P.O.V: The Doctor

The detection was coming from this apartment, and as I flapped open the cat flap it opened again. And Rose's face was what I saw. 

I stood up as she opened the door.

"What're you doing here?" I asked.

She looked confused. "I live here." 

"What'd you do that for?" 

"Because, I do." Maybe she was plastic. "I'm only home right now because someone blew up my job!" 

She meant me, I presumed. 

"I must have got the wrong signal. You're not plastic, are you?" I knocked on her forehead with my fist. "No, bonehead. Bye then!" I grinned and was about to leave when her hand caught my jacket. 

"You. Inside. Right now."

*************************************

She pulled me inside and shut the door behind me. 

"Who is it?" I heard an unknown voice say from another room. 

"It's about last night, he's part of the inquiry. Give us ten minutes." Rose walked past the room, seeming flustered. I turned and looked inside. An older looking woman that resembled Rose was sitting at a vanity applying a large amount of makeup I noticed. "She deserves compensation!" She added, and looked at me. 

As I surveyed the room, the woman looked surprised, then a little gleeful as well.

"Oh we're talking millions." I said, hoping that would satisfy her. Was this woman really Rose's mother? Quite unorganized I noticed. 

"I'm in my dressing gown." She said, a little too airily I noticed. What was I supposed to say?

"Yes, you are." Captain Obvious much?

"There's a strange man in my bedroom." Goodness, need to state everything?

"Yes, there is." I hoped Rose didn't take on the Captain Obvious gene as well.

"Well, anything can happen." 

I paused. "Mm, no." And left. Strange woman. 

I walked to where Rose was and surveyed the area. Still a little unorganized. 

"Don't mind the mess. Do you want coffee?" she asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Might as well, thanks. Just milk." I looked at a copy of a book laying on the table.

"That won't last, he's gay and she's an alien." I observed, to no one in particular. 

I heard Rose talking about something about jokes going wrong, police, but I wasn't paying attention.

I picked up another copy of a book and flicked through it with one flip of the pages. 

"Hmm, sad ending." I observed to no one once more. An old paycheck envelope was sitting on the table. "Rose Tyler." I read. 

I turned to my right and saw a mirror. My newest regeneration and this is what I looked like?

"Ah, could've been worse. Look at the ears!" I took my new ears and wiggled them. 

I found a pack of cards on the table and tried my new shuffling trick, and said "Luck to be a lady," but failed and cards flew everywhere. I grimaced and stepped away from the mess of cards. 

Rose finally entered the room and set two coffees on the table. "Anyway, if we are going to go to the police I want to know what I'm saying. I want you to explain everything." 

"Maybe not." I responded absentmindedly. My sonic screwdriver was picking up a signal, in the flat.

The cat flap rattled once more, and I glanced behind the couch. "What's that then? You got a cat?"

"No." Rose went back into the kitchen, but suddenly, without warning, the Auton arm flew up from behind the couch and grabbed my throat.

I tried to call out to Rose, but her back was turned to me and she was talking. 

"We did have, but now they're just strays. They come in off the estate." Rose came back in with a small pitcher of milk and set that down as well. I tried signalling wildly, but she took no notice. 

"I told Mickey to chuck that out. You're all the same. Give a man a plastic hand." She sat on the couch as I tried to free myself. She thought I was joking. And who's Mickey?

"Anyway I don't even know your name. Doctor, was it?" With those words I finally managed to get the arm off and gasped in air. But the arm went straight for Rose's face. 

I pulled at it, but ended up pulling Rose down on top of me, and we smashed into the glass coffee table, shattering it. How was Rose's mother not hearing this?

We rolled over as I tried to free my sonic screwdriver, and I finally managed to get it off, and stopped it with my screwdriver. 

I smiled at her. "It's alright. I've stopped it. There you go, you, see!" I waved the arm back and forth. "Armless!"

"Do you think!" Rose took the arm and smacked me with it, hard.

"Ow!"