Eleutheromania (Various Genshin x Reader)

Mr. Cyclops -45-

"Found him! There's Childe!" Paimon cheered as the four of you reached the top of a grassy hill, "Wait, he's talking to... the Treasure Hoarders?" She said with disbelief. Aether nudged you, seeing your stone-faced expression. "Do you know those guys, Y/N?" He asked. You scratched at your head, refusing to make eye contact. Paimon clicked her tongue. "So... that's a yes."

"You know what I'm here for, I trust?" Childe said with a narrowed gaze. The supposed leader, Slippery Wu, sneered at the ginger. "Oh, you've got lip. Makin' us guess, are you? If you wanna join up, let me just say this first — dandy kid like you? You ain't welcome."

Slippery Wu was just as his name suggested - slippery - which is a decent quality for a treasure hoarder to have. That is, when it's guided under proper leadership.

"Oh ho," Childe chuckled in amusement, "What a commendable imagination. Well, in the Tsaritsa's name, I suppose I should forgive you country bumpkins for your ignorance. For I am—"

"Brother! You're selling them toys, aren't you, brother? That's so cool! I've always wanted to watch you work!" Teucer interjected with a bright smile while Childe's face paled. "...Why, yes, of course! For I am, uh... The greatest toy salesman in Snezhnaya!" He declared with his arms outstretched - his standing ovation being nothing but crickets.

After a moment of silence passed, Paimon huffed out a laugh. "Pfft..." You smacked your forehead as Childe still seemed to wait for applause. At least Teucer seemed delighted. "So cool!" He squeaked in amazement, eyes shining as his brother continued to internally panic.

Slippery Wu paused to stare at man incredulously before giving him a glare. "You playin' games, pretty boy? And YOU," he pointed back to you for a moment, "don't think I haven't noticed you," he hissed as you merely gave him a little wave. His fellow Treasure Hoarders glanced at you and whispered among themselves.

Childe ignored his comment and went on, "So, will you buy, or not? The toys that Snezhnaya produced three months ago will run you... yes, 600,000 Mora. To be paid in full," the harbinger said through gritted teeth.

Sneaky Wu, not to be confused with Slippery Wu, visibly tensed in confusion. "T-Toys? And h-how much money!?" He squeaked. Slippery Wu smirked and nudged his companions, "Wow, is that what it's gonna cost to fix that head of yours?" He quipped as the rest of them burst into laughter. "Hahahaha!"

You threw your face into your hands with a groan like a parent whose children just embarrassed them. "It's code, you idiots," you complained underneath your breath as Aether just sweat dropped. Surely they were smarter than that...

Innocent as always, Teucer beamed like a proud mama hen. "Look at that! Spreading joy and laughter to everyone — that's what toy selling's all about!" He said with pride.

Childe, cheeks now flushed with both frustration and embarrassment, continued. "I'll say it again. Toys from Snezhnaya, three months prior, 600,000 Mora, paid in full," the harbinger forced out in false politeness.

The smug smile was washed off Slippery Wu's face. "Yeah... No. Sorry, salesboy — the same joke isn't funny twice," he said in boredom, "Or were you always cruisin' for a bruisin'?"

The redhead visibly deflated. "Alright then, I'll make things a little easier for you. I'll join the Treasure Hoarders. Perhaps you'll be more willing to pay when we're brothers-in-arms?" He resorted with a sigh of defeat. You wanted to cry. This entire conversation was torture.

Slippery Wu's eyes widened, "Huh! Would you listen to yourself!? You think we just let any old person into the Treasure Hoarders? I'm not so sure you could hack it..."

You sighed and approached the four men, placing your hand atop Childe's shoulder. "Slippery Wu, would you just—"

"Shut it," your former subordinate hollered, "from what I can remember, we don't work for you anymore, so you don't have a say in the matter. Capisce?" You blinked at him for a moment before sighing and removing your hand from Childe's shoulder. That was... that was fair.