If you chase after money, you're greedy.
If you chase after knowledge, you're cursed.
If you're too kind, people take advantage of you.
If you're firm, people say you're harsh.
Why is there always something bad that follows? Then what's the point of living?
A part of me wishes, that I never learnt and knew as much as I do now. Why couldn't I be some carefree influencer or hippie? Why do I have to care about making a difference? Why do I care about not shaming myself or parents? Why do I care about being successful?
I feel like I'm going insane with knowing and seeing things that others don't. I see how someone's reaction to someone else can trigger them, and generate a less desirable outcome. I see how there's always two sides of the same coin. But I find it hard to accept to be the one to make that change. Why does it have to be me? I don't want people to feel like they have to keep sacrificing for me, but they would have to if I'm unaware right? But if I'm aware, then the responsibility lies on me to change my responses and how I think. But then again, why does it have to be me?
How am I supposed to be the one to change, but at the same time set boundaries and not let others push me over? I can't find grace in myself and don't feel good calling myself gracious even if I was.
I want people to hurt for me when I'm hurting, but not pity me. I want people to listen to me when I'm crying or talking, but not unwillingly. I want people to correct me when I'm wrong, but not judge me.
It's all so tiring. Why get angry or upset? No one is going to see me and hear me the way I want to be seen and heard.
There's really no point to living apart from the purpose God has given me. Once that's done, Lord please just take me.
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Broken but not Destroyed
Short StoryDo you feel like the whole world is against you? Feeling as though life is such a damn pain and sometimes you just wanna bang your head on a wall or possibly just disappear? if you do, guess we're in the same boat. these are my inner thoughts abou...
