𝗨𝗚𝗟𝗬 // 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗼𝗻

068

I only had around an hour of work left anyways, so promptly, after changing into some clothes in my locker, I find Steve standing outside, leaning against the brick walls that hide the front doorway.

"Hey baby."

"Hey!"

I feign happiness, ignoring the annoyance in my chest over what happened, but he doesn't miss the way I find it hard to touch him in this moment. Where we usually hold hands, I squirm, finding a reason not to. I find touch uncomfortable when I'm feeling strange like this.

The only flaw in my plan, my boyfriend notices everything about me.

He follows behind me as I walk out, dragged along like a lost puppy, craving my attention as he paws and whimpers, but I bounce along, pretending the air doesn't feel colder.

"I'll talk to Nancy." He exclaims and suddenly I feel relief strike my chest, I turn to him, my hair flying in the wind, "what?" My smile isn't hidden.

He smiles shyly, "you're right, you deserve to be a part of this, not just stuck with Robin and Joyce behind the scenes," legs move closer, his hands pull forward and land on my waist, the warmth spreading over me in butterflies, "and I shouldn't.. I shouldn't let my worries stop you from doing what you want, that's not fair, I'm sorry."

Tears threaten my eyes as I launch myself forward, embracing his body with mine, legs dangling in the air as he holds me up for a moment.

As we let go and I'm placed back onto the ground, his hands still on my side, I grin up at him, placing a soft kiss against his lips before I speak, "thank you."

He rolls his eyes playfully and scolds, "Ruby, you know not to thank me for basic human decency."

And I can't help but just laugh, the sound echoing into the air, heard by all around us, the kids in the street playing basketball, the parents who roll their eyes at young love, the imaginary friends who stop and stare for a moment.

"How are you gonna bring it up?"

He shrugs, casually, "I'll just mention it, what can she do, say no? I'll just take you anyways."

For a moment, I feel myself retreat into a shell of sorts. Nancy has become a close friend of mine, I didn't want to make her angry. Whenever it came to the crawls, nobody knew what to do with me and Eleven always awkwardly stared to the point of everyone else doing the same.

"I don't.. want to mess with the plan too much?"
This is exactly what I wanted, so why do I feel so insecure? I have to shake the feeling away, feelings like this aren't worth it, not when there's people suffering, dying.

Steve's brows furrow, for anyone else, my sudden change in demeanor would probably be confusing. Earlier, I was excited and confident about the idea of joining Steve, but now the social shame is taking over, the knowledge of all eyes on me. I've fit well into this little group, for once in my life I'm happy, I can't ruin that.
I guess I didn't think about that before.

Steve always understands how I'm feeling though and a soft smile takes over his features, "we have hours before the crawl, they can switch things around."

Before I can change my mind, he nods towards the road, where his car is parked,

"Come on, Nancy's gonna kill us if we're late to this briefing."

***

Every meeting before a crawl reminded me of that time in the van, Nancy at the front, my friends beside me, a tension in the air nobody could quite place. The only difference was someone was missing.