Again In Neverland

Chapter 46: Try

"If you never stop trying you'll never give up. If you never give up you'll never stop trying." - Rick. W. Terry

OMNISCIENT POV:

Jonathan and Peter walked side by side back to the tree house. They could have flown, but since Jonathan didn't know how to fly Peter would have had to either teach him or hold his hand, and neither sounded appealing. So they walked.

It grew darker as they made their way through the trees. Well, the sky was already dark due to the heavy clouds blanketing it, but it was clearly approaching night time. The rain trickled through the trees and created a mist that surrounded the boys. In the distant, animals roared. They called to one another, filling Neverland with eerie whispers and invisible footsteps. Monsters lurked in the darkness, waiting for their chance to strike.

"Your Lost Boys have been wondering where you were." Jonathan said, trying to distract himself from the increasingly loud animal cries, "The camp has been uneventful."

Peter jump-flew to the top of a tree stump that reached his chest and stopped to look in the distance. His slightly pointed ears perked and listening to the nighttime choir, he closed his eyes. There was something about the animals tonight that made Peter curious. It was the way they sounded, how they remained hidden away even though they could have very well attacked. They were different tonight. It seemed like they were on edge. Like they knew something big was about to happen, and so they anxiously waited for it in the cover of darkness.

A loud bird screech from above made Peter's eyes snap open. When he looked up, he could see the shadow of a bird flying below the clouds, and then soon there was a whole flock of them. They made strange noises as they past, and Peter wondered what type of birds they were. He normally didn't go exploring at night, he knew better, so many animals were unknown to him. Peter squinted against the light rain that was coming down and studied the birds from his perch on the tree stump.

"Are you going to talk to them?" Jonathan asked, startling Peter because he had nearly forgotten he was there.
Peter looked down at him and put his hands back by his sides, "Who?"
"Your Lost Boys. They seem to miss you an awful lot. It's like they're... well... lost without you."
Peter hopped down from the tree stump and landed soundlessly on the ground, "I don't know."
"I'm not going to tell you what to do, since I know you don't like that," Jonathan chuckled, "But a piece of advice? Let them know you're not abandoning them. I think they'll understand that things have been rather... difficult... lately. But they would be glad to see you."

Peter continued walking as Jonathan spoke, and gave a half smile. He did miss them. And he did feel bad for leaving them alone for so long. He had never done that before. It was just that Peter wasn't sure if he could handle himself. Breaking down in tears isn't something a leader does, not even a child one, so Peter wasn't sure if he'd be able to put on a brave face around them. He could barely do anything with a brave face any more. But Jonathan was right. He owed them an explanation, and an apology.

Peter moved a branch out of his face, "You know, this might be one of those rare occasions where I tell you you're right. I do need to speak to them."
Jonathan jogged to catch up to him, "Have I moved up another level then?"
Peter smirked, "Maybe."

They stopped when the fire pit from camp became visible through the trees. Peter couldn't bring himself to move the next foot in front of the other. How could he possibly go back in there?

How could he explain to the Lost Boys the extent of pain which he's been going through? How could he tell them that everything would be okay, and that things would soon be back to the way they used to be? Nothing would ever be the same. Peter could never see himself filling the void in his heart where Lilith was, and thus he could never see anything returning to the way it used to be. His high spirits would never return, the clouds would never go away, and the Lost Boys would never have fun with him again. It just wasn't possible. But the thing that kept his feet frozen in place the most, was the thought of seeing Lilith again. Lilith, but not really Lilith. Just a cold shell of the gem she used to be. And that was all his fault.