Again In Neverland

Chapter 38: Here

"We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know." - W. H Auden

PETER'S POV:

Lilith turns her back to me, and judging by the soft sniffling I hear, I can tell she's crying again.

I feel bad for her - I do, really. It's just one thing after another for her. First she moves away from her home to a strange new land, then her Mom threatens to send her away from her new home, and then when she finally comes to a place were there should be no worries and only fun, she's bombarded with the responsibility of this prophecy, almost driven mad by The Fates, almost killed by the Isilo, and now her fairy has been captured.

I've tried to do everything I could to lessen all of the problems but, I fear I've only made them worse. Like I've said before, I don't regret bringing Lilith here. She needed it.
I needed it. But perhaps if I had shielded her from this prophecy or kept her safer then... maybe she wouldn't be so upset all the time.

She cries - a lot. Which I guess could just be a thing that girls do - boys don't do it very often, you see, I've only cried once and that was for an extremely valid reason - but it could also be because she's just not happy here. There are moments that I know she's happy. She gets this little crease, in the right hand corner of her mouth, that only shows when she smiles wide enough. It's how I know that she's not faking a smile - that she's having a good time. I see it when we're together sometimes. Especially when we're flying, that's her favorite thing. But other times I see it over the tiniest things. When one of the Lost Boys gives her a hug, or when she stands in the sunlight on a warm afternoon, or when she looks at the night sky after a long day. It's as if these tiny things give her such an immeasurable pleasure that she cannot say it out loud - the only thing that gives it away is her smile.

But then there are times like this, when she cries, and I feel completely helpless. How do I make it stop? I have no idea how to properly comfort a girl! Do I pat her on the back? Do I give her a hug? Do I give her space? When Lilith cries, she's like a ticking bomb. One wrong move and she goes into this state of isolation, where she doesn't want to talk to anyone. Usually she'll talk to Alina but... Alina's not here now.

I see Lilith wipe at tears on her face before she turns around, "We have to rescue her. We have to go help."
I sigh. I knew it would come to this, and it's not that I don't want to help Alina, it's just that rescuing her from Mermaid's Lagoon without being either drowned by the mermaids or slashed by the pirates is highly unlikely.
I drop my head, "We can't."
She goes rigid, "What do you mean we can't?!"
"You know where she's being held," I say as I cross my arms over my chest, "It's too dangerous to try and get in and out without somebody getting hurt."
"So we're just giving up on her?! I'm supposed to stay here and pretend that Alina is perfectly okay when you do nothing?!"

I rub my hands over my face, "You don't have to pretend anything. But I'm not willing to risk fifteen people going up against twelve pirates and numerous mermaids. It's not possible."
"Not possible?!" She shouts, "Have you forgotten where we are, Peter? Anything is possible!"
I sigh again, "I'm sorry Lilith, I won't send my boys to their deaths. I can't risk tha-"
"How dare you give up on Alina! She has done more for you than any fairy ought of, and here you are abandoning her because you're too afraid! You don't even need to send all of the Lost Boys to rescue her! Just you and I could sneak in and grab her before anyone notices. But you," She looks up at me with heated cheeks, "You are a coward, Peter Pan."

She turns away from me and pushes past me to the door, "And you always will be."
"I'm a coward because I don't want anybody to get hurt?!" I yell in frustration, "Because I don't want you to get hurt?"