Again In Neverland

Epilogue

Dear Mother and Father,

By the time you read this, you'll have discovered that I'm not in my room. And before you sound up the alarms and go searching the whole town, you should know that you won't find me here. Yes, I know what you're thinking and yes, it is true. I have gone back to Neverland.

I really hope that you're not absolutely furious with me right now, and I also really hope that in reading the rest of this short note, you'll understand my decision.

Stop you're fussing or whatever else you two are doing and sit down together as you read these words. Picture this, okay?

Once upon a time, (corny explanation, I know. But just keep reading)...

'Once upon a time, there was a girl. This girl had everything a child her age could hope for. She had a beautiful home, caring friends, parents who loved her dearly, and toys beyond number. But, as she walked through life and began to grow, she noticed something was missing. Nothing she could put her finger on, but she knew it was there. Soon, the girl had to leave behind all she had ever known to start a new life, in an entirely new world. The girl's parents did everything in their power to make the girl happy in her new home, and she loved them dearly for it. She made some friends, settled down, and was happy. But once again, she got that feeling in the pit of her stomach. Even being as happy as she was, living a wonderful life, the girl new something was lacking -- and this new home made the feeling stronger.

Then, one night, a boy came along who changed everything. He took her to a magical place, a place other children only dream of, and she had lots of magnificent adventures. As she spent time in this spectacular place, she realized that the hole she felt inside had been filled. For the first time in her life, the girl felt complete. It wasn't by the fault of anybody else that the girl ever felt partially empty, it was just that being in this extraordinary place with these dazzling people provided her with something that a normal life couldn't. And so she decided that she wanted to stay, in order to relish in that feeling of finally being whole. '

... You see, I must stay in Neverland. That story might not have been the best way to explain what I feel but it's the best I can do given the circumstances.

I don't know if any amount of words will make you two feel any better, but I can only hope that these do.

You have given me everything I've ever asked for, and I am so so thankful for it. I don't want either of you to think that the reason I left is because of you. It's not. It's because of me.

I know, I know. That dreaded, typical breakup line. But this is the truth.

Being in Neverland really opened my eyes to a part of myself I didn't know existed. I've discovered so much. So much. In Neverland I can fight, I can fly, I can do anything! And I know you're probably thinking that I can do that stuff here in Ireland but, be honest with yourselves now. Could I really?

If it hadn't been for my time in Neverland, I wouldn't have even known who I was. For the longest time I've felt like I'm just a shell of the person I'm supposed to be but in Neverland, I feel like I'm finally living.

You might be thinking that I just ran away to be with Peter. First, I'm not some love sick Juliet who's blindly following the boy I love and doing as he asks. No, I'm independent enough to make my own choices. I do love him though. More than I think I've ever loved another person and more than I think I'll ever be able to. Maybe you're saying that I'm mad, and that no such love exists but, it really does. I know it in my bones.

And second, I didn't go back to Neverland because of him at all. Sure, does he contribute to the fact I went back? Yes. But he's not the only reason.

I have made too many friends, both human and not so human, that I am not willing to give up. These people and creatures would die for me, and I would die for them. I couldn't possibly walk away from relationships like those. And plus I would never be able to have those here.

This world seems to me like a cartoon from the Sunday papers. Funny, filled with lots of things to make me happy... but always in black in white; always the same old punch line, same old characters, same old routine. Neverland is the exact opposite. It is full of color, and liveliness, and every day holds a new adventure!

Yes, yes, adventures could happen here, but not like this. Never could I brandish a sword or fly through the skies of suburban Ireland.

And before you freak out, no. Hopefully I won't be brandishing any swords.... again...

Okay, here it goes.

I'm not sorry for leaving. Neverland to me is like architecture to you, Dad, or pottery to you, Mom -- it's my everything. It means more to me than anything, and there is no possible way I could just turn my back on it. The only thing I feel necessary to apologize for is the manner of my departure. Leaving a note probably wasn't the best way but I didn't want to argue about this. You guys would have pestered me to stay but I know in my heart that I cannot. I am not destined for this world.

If it makes you feel any better, I would have been off to uni in a year any way! So just think of this like that, except that I'll be having a much better time in Neverland than any University could have done for me. This is also better than uni because I'll be back to visit more often! I made Peter promise to help me find my way back as often as possible, so I could see you guys. Once I learn the way on my own, I won't need his help, but I think you two will like him. He's quite the... charmer.

Oh, and one last thing, tell the Darling children I'll talk to Madelyn about visits and return to get them A.S.A.P!!

Please, don't go panicking and tell their parents. Neverland is supposed to be a place children can go. They should be able to enjoy it while they're still young.

Well, actually, some things have changed recently. Adults are allowed now as well, but I don't quite know the specifics about it. Maybe one day soon I'll have you two standing on the white, sandy beaches of Neverland with me!

Don't be worried about me. I'll be off having the grandest of adventures, and I'll be sure to tell you all about them when I come back. I love you both with all my heart.

Love always, your daughter,
Lilith ✶✶