Our 5 seconds of summer // l.h

Chapter 31

"So y'all hooked up?" Calum asked mainly to himself as if he were trying to figure it all out on his own. We were sitting in the living room not doing much of anything. Michael was playing guitar hero and Ashton was no where to be found.

"They hooked up and then she kicked him out" Mikey said with a chuckle. I was still trying to process everything that happened last night.

"Yeah I'm done talking about this, I think I might go out and clear my head a bit" I said grabbing my car keys and making my way down the long drive way were my car was parked. Honestly thinking about everything maybe Hannah was right, I didn't deserve her and I most definitely didn't deserve her forgiveness. There was a light buzzing sound coming from my phone in the cup holder.

"Hello?" I said not bothering to look at the caller ID.

It was quiet on the other end for a little bit before a girl's voice spoke up timidly "Hey" She said quietly.

"Hi Alanna" I said with a sigh. I was still parked in the drive way, my free hand tightly gripping the steering wheel.

"Hey um do you think you could come by, I just really need to talk to you"

"Oh um yeah sure, I was just about to head out but I can head over" I said starting the engine. There was a quiet thanks and then the line went dead. I pulled out of the drive way with my head spinning and started to head towards her apartment.

It took me all of 25 minutes to get there and the entire drive there I couldn't stop thinking about what Hannah had told her and from the look on her face when she opened the door told me she couldn't either.

"I miss you" Alanna said not even bothering for simple pleasantries. She was still in pajamas and from her living room I could still see the pancake ingredients on her kitchen counter. I was confused by why she was telling me this but before I could speak she was talking again.

"I miss you so much, and it feels like every day it gets worse. And yes, I told you I needed you and I do because you make me the happiest person ever and I don't know how to deal with not having you in my life... but that's the problem isn't it? I don't know what to do without you and even though you broke my heart I can't stop myself from listening to your music, or wearing your t-shirts, or looking at all our pictures and videos or dialing your number only to erase it a few seconds later"

I hadn't even noticed the tears burning my eyes until I saw some fall from her eyes. I stepped towards her and wiped them away softly. "I know... I know baby, you don't have to say any of this I already know" I said quietly.

Alanna pulled away from me "No, I need to say it Luke" She said watching me through blurry red eyes. I nodded and let her continue "I got a package right after you left this morning. It was an acceptance letter from an art school in Italy, I had sent it my application about a month or so before we started dating and had completely forgotten about it until now" She said and paused taking a breath "I'm gonna go to it, and you're going to be here or on tour or in Australia and we won't see each other for months maybe even years" The more she spoke the more it hurt even though I knew were this was going and I knew she was right "I love you so much but I need to know how to be without you, I need to get through this and get over you just like any other 19 year old getting out of a relationship, I need to go to parties with my girlfriends and get drunk and kiss the wrong guy, I need to regret a drunken hook up and be sick the next morning, I need to crush really hard on the cute guy sitting in front of me in class. But most of all, I need to be alone and single and I need to take care of myself and I need to know that I will be okay without you..."

I took a deep breath and stepped towards her and kissed her forehead softly. "I hope you find everything you're looking for in life, and I hope you find a really great guy in Italy and I hope you become an amazing artist, I love you too and I also know you're right... So thank you for giving me the most amazing summer ever" With that I mustered all the strength I had and left.

Alanna's POV:

I spent the next 2 weeks at the beach and cafe's and movies with Hannah and Derek. Although every mention of his name hurt I pushed it away and didn't think about him, I didn't text him, I didn't call him and whenever he was on tv I would change the channel. It was time to move on.

School was starting soon and I was supposed to be in Italy early. So as I cleaned up my apartment and put everything in boxes I knew it was time to open up the drawer I had been avoiding for 2 weeks and pack it up.

I was sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor folding black nirvana and other band t-shirts, gathering 5sos CD's and taking down all pictures I had of a boy I once knew. I put everything I had of him and put it into a box that went into the back corner of my closet were I wasn't going to see for God knows how long.

Hannah and Derek were waiting in the living room for me so with a sigh I grabbed my suit cases and headed towards them.

"Ready?" Derek asked taking one of my suit cases for me.

I smiled and looked around my somewhat empty apartment. "Yeah, I'm ready" I said and we all made our way out of the door letting it shut behind us.

The End