Our 5 seconds of summer // l.h

Chapter 27

Luke's POV:

"um i don't want to hear anymore" Alanna said inturrupting me in the middle of what happened. I sighed and looked over at her. Her hair was curlier then usual and she didn't have any make up on. I honestly think my hoodie fits her better then it ever fit me. "thanks for telling me though" she said giving me a small smile. She looked different... she looked happy, well at least happier then she's been in a long time.

She bit her lip nervously and adjusted herself in front of me. "Luke please stop" she said with a small laugh as she turned my chin to look directly at her.

"i'm sorry" I said, not really sure what i was appologizing for this time. She shook her head and sighed standing up and grabbing my hands pulling me to my feet. 

"you're depressing me, c'mon" She said with a smile. I guess she really was happy and maybe if she's happy it'll make me a little happier knowing she isn't exactly heart broken anymore. but at that thought it kinda sends a stab of pain to my gut knowing if she's happy she's moving on and that means getting over me and that means forgetting.

But i stood up and followed her to her car and got in and carried on a regular conversation with her just as if i weren't dying on the inside by every smile and laugh that was sent my way. I don't know why i can't move on from her, it's like every time i try she's always in the back of my mind drawing me in again and again. 

after what felt like ages the car finally stopped moving and i was about 500 feet high looking over the entire city of LA. I hoped out of the car at the same time she did. It was amazing, i have never seen anything like it. there was no noise like when you were down there with all the souts and car horns. From up here it was so peacefull. not to mention the sun set that was begining to appear and all the city lights.

Alanna's POV:

He seemed so mesmerized but the view, it was really cute. I giggled and hoped onto the hood of my car and watched him as he took it all in. every now and then he would look back over at me with his big blue eyes. he looked different up here and i realized that since we broke up he seemed to have aged 10 years, his eyes were always sunken and hollow with dark circles under them, he seemed to not really even try on his hair do these days but other then all that he just seemed so.... tired and sad.

but up here it all seemed to have faded and he seemed actually happy. He turned back around to me and smiled and it was a real smile now. he came over and sat down beside me before pulling his phone out and taking a quick picture.

"were exactly did you find this place?" he asked in his australian accent that always gave me butterflies. I just shrugged and snapped a picture of the two of us.

i gave him a small smile "i used to come here all the time with my dad when i was little" i said thinking back to those days and let out a small laugh "he used to bring a small kareokee toy box thing and we would just sing our hearts out... he would tell me the world is my stage"

I could feel Luke's eyes on me but i didn't turn to look back at him "what happened to your dad?" He asked and i could tell he was being carefull like everyone always were whenever my dad was braught up. 

"he um, he died when i was 14.... he loved anything to do with the beach and so he was always out either paddle boarding or surfing or just sitting in the sand.... one day he took his boat out and from what i was told by my mom he fell over board and got stuck in a rip-tide" usually all the memories of my dad made me smile, he was such a happy and loving person, it always felt weird waking up and not hearing the radio on the sports channel or the smell of eggs and bacon.

Luke sat there for a moment in silence, probably trying to think of what to say "what beach did he always go to?" it was kinda a funny question but no one ever asked me that before.

"my family owns a strip of land on the beach were we have a small beach house, my grandparents gave it to my parents when they got married, i still go there sometimes but my mom hasn't been to the beach since my dad died" I looked over at him, he was looking at the horizon, he looked deep in thought. 

I'm not sure when it happened but i must have dozed off because when i woke up i was wrapped in Luke's arms and he was also asleep. There was a blanket on top of us and we were just wrapped around each other. Part of me knew i should move but the other part couldn't bring myself to do it, it was so calm and familiar and to be honest it was the one thing i wanted for what felt like forever. I just wanted to be in Luke's arms as if nothing ever happened.

I didn't realize i was staring at him until his eyes fluttered open and he was looking directly back at me. i wanted so badly to tell him how much i love him and how everything is okay and i forgive him and i dont want to spend anymore time away from him.... but i can't , i don't think i'd ever be okay if he hurt me again. It was weird though because when he started leaning towards me i didn't move away, i didn't tell him to stop. I could feal my heart hammering inside my chest as his lips came closer to mine. I can't be doing this; was all that was running through my head but i guess my brain doesn't controll my body anymore because next thing i knew my arms were wrapped around his neck with his hands around my waist and our lips pressed against each other as if we were the oxygen we both needed to survive.

It was like electricity running through my veins, and everywhere he touched me it was as if he were igniting me on fire. It was in that moment that i realized how much i love this overly tall blond dork, i love him so much that i know i can never be with him. 

I pulled away from him with tears in my eyes and from the look on his face he knew it too. I turned my back to him and braught my legs up to my chest and let the tears fall from my eyes. How did all this happen? how did i let myself fall so in love with this boy? I felt his arm wrapp around me softly and pulled me over to him, we just sat there in silence as he let me cry silently and let the un said words spill out between us.

we are never going to be able to be together.