Our 5 seconds of summer // l.h

Chapter 23

Alanna's POV:

it's so twisted, yah know? this whole "love" thing. Like really? you fall in love and you literally fall. you crash to the ground and i swear to god all your bones break. you're shattered but you don't notice because you've got this beautiful boy whispering in your ear and kissing your neck and nothing else matters. and suddenly he leaves. you feel everything. and you're crying hysterically in your car at 4 in the morning in some empty parking lot because it's the only place that doesn't taste like him and you're trying to hold your bones together but his old t-shirts don't work as a cast, wrapping them around your chest wont fix the craters in your ribs. nothing stops the aching.

But at 2 in the morning when i lay in bed thinking about you my heart aches at the sound of your name and i start to wonder does yours ache at the sound of mine? or is mine the same as everyone else's to you? when you hear my name is it the same as if you heard a strangers name? does mine even make you think of the way i used to laugh at your jokes, about the color of my eyes, or about the way i used to sing horribly in your car. Do you remember our drive in movie dates, how i used to cover my eyes when we watched all those horror movies, what about the time we missed that party because we just wanted to lay next to each other. i remember it all.

It's a little odd that when i think about you i'm terrified someday you will forget me. when i say that i don't mean you will walk by me and pretend you don't see me. i don't mean you will put me in the past and move on. i'm terrified that one day you will look at me and wonder what my name is and why i ever meant anything to you. and the sad part is i'll never forget... even if i want to.

You see all those quotes and movies about having your heart broke and then the next day he's throwing pebbles at your window and gives you this huge appology about how he's sorry and how much he loves you but it's really not like that. There's nothing beautiful or poetic about having your heart broken. It's desperatly trying to keep yourself from texting them that you miss them at 3 am. It's waking up the next morning and immidiatly feeling sad. it's forcing yourself to get up and get ready every day when you barely have energy for anything and all you want to do is sink back into your covers and pray that this horrible feeling would go away. heart break is not beautiful. it sucks.

Lately the internet has been blowing up with the whole Derek and Luke fight right outside Betty and Bob's dinner  the other day, apparently somone filmed it and a lot of people have been taking it however they liked. some people thought Luke was hurting me and not letting me leave, others thought Derek got jealous, other's thought they were just fighting over me; but the video that i saw did look pretty bad. It had me walking to my car and then Luke following me out and grabbing my wrist and then us just sorta talking a little and then here comes Derek storming out and then hitting him pulling me to the ground along with him.

"So what on earth was going on that day, i mean you look pretty beat up" A lady with dark hair asked the boys on an interview I decided to watch since it was live and they were playing the video in the background.

"Um it's kinda funny to think about cause like me and the boys had just gotten back from a recording session and so we stopped to eat something real quick when I ran into Alanna or more like she ran into me" He paused a minute and laughed quietly as Calum said something you couldn't hear. "and so i haven't seen her in about a month so I followed her out to try and talk to her when um Derek? came out telling me to back off and then when I said no and told him to go away he hit me in the face"

there was a small laugh that erupted from the crowd but died down after a moment. "In the video after you've been resieving multiple punches it looks as if Alanna threw herself at this Derek guy trying to pull him off is that true?" The lady asked watching the boys closely.

"well don't ask me I was on the other side of his fist" he said recieving another laugh from the crowd. why was he so cheery? it was actually kinda bugging me and that just bugged me more that i didn't want him to be happy.

This time it was Calum who spoke up "You know Luke really isn't a very good fighter at all i'm actually kinda surprised he even got 1 punch in there" he said with a laugh "but yeah i'm pretty sure thats what she was doing by the time we got out there.

The lady smiled as she began to speak again "now Calum you were the one to pull Alanna off of Derek and just kinda hold her as she was screaming and crying from the looks of it. are you like a big brother to her?"

"you know i think we're all like a family to her, i know her and Ash are really close but yeah Mike and Ashton were trying to pull Luke and Derek apart but we couldn't do anything with Alanna on his back so yeah i had to grab her but let me tell you this she has some long nails" He said with a chuckle as he held up his arms showing a pair of long red lashes.

everyone laughed lightly as he put his arm back down and the interviewer spoke up again. "Luke so do you and her still talk?"

he seemed to have been thinking about it for a moment. "um well we did speak after that whole situation, she actually let me go to her apartment so she could like help me clean up and we talked then but not recently no"

By now I just turned it off not wanting to see him smile his way through everything, why was he so happy right now? he literally told me he was still in love with me and watched me run off only two days ago and i don't think that would make you very happy. No if he was going to charm his way through everything well then so was I. 

I had been getting so many phone calls from people asking for me to come in to some interview so I guess i'm finally going to do it. I ran over to my closet pulling on a white flowy sun dress with some stileto nude heels and called back some lady named Anna Ray.

Luke's POV:

"yes i understand you just came out of an interview but I would love to have you in for one this afternoon, besides we have a special guest"

that what a lady named Anna told me about an hour ago and I'm still confused as to what i'm getting mysef into and a little nervous as to who this guest is. She didn't want to tell me a name and didn't say why she was asking for just me but by all means I made my way down town to a small building called The Loft.

Once I made my way throught the front door with Joe one of our security guards I instantly regretted it once I saw the familiar long dark hair that swayed whenever she moved.

"Ah Lucas!" a red head lady said making her way over to me, i'm guessing this was Anna Ray. but i couldn't focus on her all i could see was Alanna and some guy that was flirting with her. "oh please come come" she said pulling me along with her.

"um you didn't tell me my ex girlfriend was gonna be here" I said playing it off with a laugh

"well I thought i'd surprise you. Alanna dear come come" Alanna turned and slowly walked over to us and you could read it all over her face that she did not want to be here but by all means she put on a big smile and said hi to me witch nearly knocked me off my feet. "well should we get started then?"