The Girl With the Cross

Chapter 20: Sarah

  I sit on the living room couch, reading until Tyler gets here. Tonight is supposed to be our last date, and tomorrow is supposed to be his last day going to church, but I just pray and hope that things go well enough tonight and tomorrow that I can continue dating him, and he can keep going to church. I don't think he's ready to go to church on his own, without me giving him that extra push-- not yet. I have a deep, burning feeling in me though that the Holy Spirit will show up in him and he'll really pay attention tomorrow and maybe even start to love God again. He knows God is real, deep deep down. I know he does. He's just forgotten about it.
  A few moments later, after I finish chapter 702 of reading my big novel, I hear a knock on the door. A big smile spreads across my face immediately as I bookmark my page, fix up my hair a little, and pat my ironed dress down so it loses its kinks from being smushed on the couch. I take a deep breath, calm myself, and open the door.
  "Hey beautiful." He says, smiling at me. The more we are together, the happier he seems to be. I wonder if it's me that makes him this way. The idea makes me almost jump.
  "Hi, you look nice." I say. He wears a light blue, short-sleeved, collared shirt and dark jeans. He also did his hair to the side, just how I like it. He smells of my favorite cologne as well. I can't help but take a quick whiff and hope he didn't notice. He laughs and looks down at his shoes, showing me that he did very well notice.
  "And you look gorgeous as always. Shall we, my love?" He asks, holding out his hand.
  "We shall." I giggle and gladly take his hand into mine. Just like that, when our hands touch and our fingers intertwine so comfortably, I realize why I stay with him even when he doesn't fit my standards of a good boyfriend. It's not that he's Christian, it's not that he gets the best grades, it's that he cares. He cares more about me than almost anyone else, and I can feel that whenever I'm around him. He really, truly loves me. It makes my heart feel weirdly jumpy.

   "So, where are we off to eat?" I ask as he opens the car door for me and I enter with a smile.

  His face freezes for half a second, but then he smiles again. "It's a place called Jan's pizza parlor." He says, shutting the door and turning away so I don't see his face. Something is a little off.
  The car ride is pretty silent, making me feel uneasy because we've gotten so far past the awkward silences. 

  When the car stops and he puts the keys in his pocket, he looks out his window at the restaurant and sighs, further confirming that he is very much not okay.

  He hops out quickly, too quick for me to ask him what's wrong, so I jump out and follow him to the restaurant. He closes his eyes as he opens the door for me and I can see him panicking inside. I can almost see his heart beating rapidly out of his chest and it makes me panic too. I enter slowly, he takes a deep breath, and follows me into the pizza place, trying to mask his emotions; he doesn't do it well. I pick a seat to the left corner, but he hesitates before he sits down.

  "Sarah can we sit over here instead?" He asks, walking to a table on the other side.
  "Oh, yeah sure. Of course." I smile, brightly, sitting at the table he chooses.
We both sit down and a woman comes to us with a pad and pencil.
  "Hi there, may I take your--" She looks at Tyler and freezes. Her eyes widen and a flash of recognition can be seen through her entire body. Tyler looks away.
  "Tyler . . . is that you?" She asks. Her voice drops to a whisper.
  "Hi January." He says, bluntly.
  I sit in confusion as they look at each other and try to understand how they know each other. She looks quite a lot older than him, so they were never a couple I'm sure; she doesn't look anything like him, so they couldn't be close relatives; I'm suddenly out of guesses.
  "What's going on here?" I ask, holding questions from spilling out of my mouth.
Tyler sighs, looks away. January answers for him.
  "I own this pizza parlor. Tyler's mother had her last meal here. Tyler and his dad never came here since the incident." She says, sorrow registering deeply on her face.
  "Oh my word. Tyler  I am so sorry." I gasp.
  "I wanted to bring you here because you're the only person I can be honest with nowadays. My dad never listens to me, my friends don't know anything about my past . . . but you're so much more understanding, and I thought it might help me heal and stuff if we came here together, made new memories of this place. My mom died in the seat that you chose. It's why we sat here instead." He says. I sit in complete shock. I can't believe he trusts me so much that he could bring me to a place where he swore to himself he would never go again.
He looks up because I don't reply.
"I'm sorry I didn't take you here earlier. Please don't be upset. I just--"
"Thanks." I stop him, "for trusting me." I say. My throat swells before I can say anything else.
He smiles ever so slightly, "No problem."
We look at each other for a moment.
"So, what would you like to order?" Jan asks, straightening up and carrying on with her night.
"We'll have my usual." Tyler replies. She simply nods and goes away into the kitchen.