The Girl With the Cross

Chapter 25: Tyler

I wake up with the kind of smile on your face that could make your cheeks sore. A smile that feels so bright you may very well be the sun. I am so happy that I've witnessed the Lord in my life again. It's the most incredible feeling, really. It feels like being able to see for the first time. I finally understand love, life, and everything good. Everything from this point on will be different, all thanks to Sarah.
  

  I run downstairs and steal an apple from the fruit bowl on the kitchen table, and I'm amazed at what I see. My dad, sitting at the kitchen table, reading a sports magazine, sipping from a coffee mug. It's filled with whiskey I can tell but at least he's out of his bed. Now could be the perfect time to tell him that I'm getting baptized with Sarah on Sunday by Mr. Williams. I want to be fully renewed and emerge myself in God's love and shelter. For good.

  "Hey, dad. Can we talk before I head out since you're up?" I ask, nicely.

  "Absolutely not. You're not allowed to speak to your dad." He jokes. I smile and he gives out a raspy, manly laugh. He stands up and we walk outside. I take a deep breath as I slip on my shoes and throw my partially eaten apple away.
  "Alright, so I've been going to church with this girl named Sarah . . . and I've decided to follow the Lord again." I say, trying my hardest to spit out the words in a way that sounds confident. Once I do, I feel relieved. He must be so proud of me; his son is finally taking a stance in his life.

  "Church huh? I thought we knew God was fake quite a while ago." He says, suddenly agitated.   That is not the answer I expected.

  "I'm really sorry that you can't understand, maybe someday it'll hit you like it hit me." I smile, soft.

  "No way kid. God would never take your mom away from me if He was real." He says with a dismissal voice. 

  "If you joined us you could understand! Dad, He does love us. He loves you. Just come back to Him. He welcomes you, I'm sure of it. You just need to let Him in." I say, encouragingly. He laughs and I know he's pitying me at this point. What a pathetic son I have I can hear him thinking.

  "See? You're talking crazy now just like the missionaries did when they used to come to our house. That's what mom did before she died. She believed in God with all her heart and look where that got her! Get it through your head!" He yells. His voice changed so I suddenly I don't really know how to react.

  "Maybe I don't want to! I love Sarah, and I love God. That's why I'm getting baptize this Sunday oh her birthday." I say.

  "Are you kiddin' me? No! Who is Sarah anyways? Do you even know this damn girl?" He asks, crossing his arms.
  

  "I've been in love with her for two months, Dad. If you would've been paying attention to your son instead of drinking yourself out of life, maybe you would've known that! I'm tired of being forgotten by you all the time! I feel like you don't even love me!" I yell back, tears welling up in my eyes.

  "I never loved you!" He screams. The impact of his words make the tears spill over. 

  "I can't believe you." I slip out, disgusted by him. He looks away for a second and walks back in the house as I see Sarah who must've watched the whole thing. Humiliation drowns me and I end up sitting in my car crying for a few minutes where no one can see before I turn the car on, harshly wiping the tears from my face.