My Teen Enemies {4}

Chapter 21

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Chapter 21

I feel like something bad is going to happen.

No, I know something bad is going to happen.

Someone's going to die.

I'm staring at the ceiling in my room, not bothering to change out of my rainy clothes, waiting.

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Waiting to be needed.

Something I was told I wasn't.

I heard the door to my room open, and I didn't move when they sat on the space beside my hip.

I couldn't find anything to say.

I'm so ashamed of myself, that I can't even rack my brain for something to say to explain myself, or even to explain the mess we've gotten ourselves into.

They grabbed my hand, and I pulled it away, dropping it onto my mattress.

"Okay," She sighed, "What the hell are you doing?"

I sat up, swinging my legs so that they were beside hers. I hunched over, shaking my head, "I don't know. I don't even know what to do anymore. I don't wanna fight, or hurt someone, or get hurt, or have the people I love get hurt."

She sighed, wrapping an arm around me, "What happened?"

I looked up from my hands, meeting her identical brown eyes, "Scott hates me... And I-I think Stiles and I may have broken up for good. I messed up again, Mom."

My lip began to quiver, and soon after, I began to cry again.

Mom looked torn as she rubbed my back, cooing, "Oh, honey, if there's one thing I know about relationships, is that they're not over until someone's said they're over. And I know, I know, that you've had your heart broken before, but you know what you did?"

"Become a monster." I whispered.

My mom's grip on me tightened, and she shook her head, "You stood higher, and fought."

I shook my head, "Only after feeling like I was dying. I don't want to feel like this, Mom. I love Stiles and Scott, but I don't think we can be around each other anymore."

She shook her head, "You'll find a way, you always do, honey."

"But what if I don't want to?" I snapped, "What if I want them to leave me alone? It'd be so much easier for everyone to hate me just as much as I hate myself."

My moms grip loosened, and tears sprang to her eyes, "You hate yourself?" She whispered.

I bit my lip in shame, "I've hurt so many people, Mom. I deserve this." I said, "I deserve to feel like this."

"Like what?"

"Worthless." I whispered, "I hate myself."

I felt something wet fall onto my hand, and I looked up to see my mom crying.

I quickly turned her way, her arm falling from my shoulders as I did so, "No, no, no!" I pleaded, "Please don't cry, Mom, please."

She sniffled, rubbing her eyes, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just- how?" She asked.

I shook my head, "How what?"

"How can you not see how beautiful and strong you are?"

I shrugged, "My vision's red with the amount of blood I've spilled, it's hard to see who I even am anymore."