Stay (The Kids Aren't Alright Sequel)

Chapter Nineteen (O.M.)

Chapter Nineteen

I'm headed straight for the castle

They wanna make me their queen

The room was awkwardly silent. I was staring at A.J., my eyes wide and my mouth wide open. A.J. had a scared look on his face, almost mimicking his mum's who looked completely shocked that he'd just said A.J.'s secret. Harry was glaring at me, his arms crossed across his chest as he does so. I wasn't paying much attention to him though, my focus now on A.J. as I tried to process the information. 

He was pregnant. Again. 

And he wasn't going to tell me. Or at least not yet. 

"Olly... Please say something. I hate it when you just stare at me..." A.J. is the first to break the silence. I finally closed my mouth, taking in a deep breath as I continued to look at him. I was at a loss for words, unable to even think about what to say. I was a little angry, mainly due to the fact that he hadn't told me yet. I was also happy, to an extent. Niall took E.J. from me, holding the giggling baby against his chest as he looks at Harry. 

"Harry, we should probably give them a minute..." Niall said, his voice shaking  a little as he speaks. Harry shakes his head though and it felt like his glare was even more focused on me. Niall didn't seem to care though, grabbing Harry's arm before dragging him out of the kitchen. Alex is still looking at me expectantly, fear evident in his eyes.

"How far along are you?" 

"10 weeks..." 

"How long have you known?" 

"I found out at the cabin..." A.J. whispers, his voice barely audible. 

"Were you planning on telling me?" I asked, my voice completely emotionless as I looked at him. I was a little more than angry now, especially with finding out that he'd known for two weeks... And he broke up with me after he knew. 

"Of course I was. I just couldn't find the right time to tell you... " 

"You knew at the cabin, and you still broke up with me. What if we hadn't made up? Were you going to tell me then, or were you just expecting your mum to pass the news on?" I said bitterly, my anger starting to surface. A.J. bites his bottom lip for a moment as he looks away from me.

"I was going to tell you, Oliver." 

"Were you? Because you could've told me earlier today, you could've told me last night or the night before that. You could've told me, but you chose not to. Why?" 

"Because I was scared, okay? I wasn't sure if you were going to stick around this time, especially after the cabin. And I couldn't have told you last night, or the night before that... You haven't talked to me for two weeks. You've been ignoring my calls, and I'm lucky if you'll even text me back. So don't give me the whole "you could've told me" bullshit, Oliver." A.J. said, his voice rising in volume as he speaks. 

"I've been busy, it's what happens when you're in a band." I said, keeping my voice quiet as I was in no mood to have yet another screaming match with A.J. The room is once again quiet, neither of us saying a word before Alex let's out a long sigh. 

"There will come a day where you'll have to choose... You'll have to choose between us or them, and the saddest thing is... I don't know if you're going to choose us." Alex says, looking anywhere but at me. I let out a bitter chuckle, shaking my head as I did so. 

"What the hell are you going on about? I don't have to choose between anything. You're the only one who seems to think I do." I point out and A.J. finally looks at me. His eyes were a dark blue, much like they always were when he was upset. My anger somewhat faded as I looked at him, but I still couldn't find it in me to pull him into my arms. 

"Then why can't you just stay?" He whispers, his voice cracking as he speaks. 

"Because you never let me. You're always telling me that if I have a choice, to always pick the band. You f ucking forced me to pick the band last time, but maybe I don't want to. Maybe I don't want any of it, but you keep pulling this shit. I love you Alex, you and E.J. are my world but you keep trying to take that away from me. All I want is to be with you, to raise our kids together... but you don't seem to want that and I don't get why." 

"I..." A.J. starts to say, but he never finished. He was once again refusing to look at me, which in turn just irritated me more. 

"Sometimes it feels like you don't want to be with me anymore, you know? Like you're always looking for a reason to leave and it hurts. I would follow you to the ends of the earth if you'd let me, but you keep telling me that you don't even want me to think about it. I want to be with you, Alexander... but do you even want to be with me?" I finally asked the question that had been bothering me since the day he left at the cabin, my heart racing as I wait for the answer.

"I want to be with you, dammit Olly I've wanted to be with you since I was sixteen... I'm just scared that one day I'm going to wake up and find out that you changed your mind... That E.J. and I aren't enough for you to stay... I'm scared you're eventually going to leave." A.J. whispers, letting out a sad chuckle as he looks up at me. I finally walked over to him, pulling him into my arms and holding him close.

"I'm not going to leave, I promise."

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Oh jeez.

I don't know.

I haven't had much to say lately, sorry haha.

Oh well.

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Connie xx