To Live Again: The Road to War {Lord of the Rings Fanfiction}|

15. Celairiel

The night is long, the longest I have ever experienced. It consists of extensive periods of a wakeful sleep, like trying to sleep surrounded by white noise. I can hear the comings and goings, the voices, the movements, a loving touch and a baby's whimper, but my exhaustion prohibits me from reacting to them. Although it was punctuated with moments of consciousness, I remember these with a sort of dream-like vagueness, like I am never quite sure if it was actually real or I thought it up.

I remember a deliciously thick and warm liquid warming me from my insides out, I liked this. I remembered a lot of uncomfortableness and feeling a little feverish, this I did not like so much, but it passed like everything else. Eventually though, my senses started to return, my body started to recover from the shock of the night's events. When this happened, I instantly wanted my daughter, and no one so much as argued with my stubborn commands. So at last I can lie in the peaceful quiet of this warm and secluded little room, and bond with my beautiful miracle.

It took some guidance and no small amount patience, on Ferel's part, before I could somewhat awkwardly coax her to feed, but she did, much to everyone's relief. I felt a grand sense of accomplishment through this. Yes, I could get much needed nourishment into her and that meant she would thrive. Still she was a little lazy and needed a lot of reminding to suckle. I had been terrified at the prospect of breast-feeding but you don't really have another option in this - sadly lacking in modern technology - world. Still, I was able to do it and therefore not a completely incompetent mother, as was my initial fear. It did also help that I was receiving bountiful praises from Ferel and Calanon, so my fragile confidence was growing by the minute.

I am admittedly, very overwhelmed, understandably so I think, because I hadn't banked on such an early introduction. But here we are, me and my little gift, who is constantly trying to scare me to death. I can feel the panic build up in the back of my mind, all the usual terrified questions running riot in my over active imagination, but for the meantime I just want to hold her and be amazed. So I sit, curled up on the comfortably made up bed swathed in blankets and propped up with soft pillows, cradling my little daughter, caught in a state of blind adoration.

"I know I am completely biased, but she is simply stunning," I swoon giddily as I run my index finger along the contours of her face again, grinning broadly when her mystified gaze locks with mine making me wonder; what exactly is she thinking?

"She is the prettiest baby I have seen in an age," Calanon chuckles quietly as he scribbles notes on parchment. "Just like her Nana."

"Neither of them are just simply pretty," Thranduil speaks up, from his crouched position at the fire as he dutifully feeds it more logs. He wearily stands, roughly rubbing off the dust from his hands; I notice how tired he is as he half stumbles back to my bedside to give me a weak smile. "Their beauty is enchanting."

To this, I simply laugh and roll my eyes, because currently I am a dreadful mess of tangled hair and greasy skin. Also, I am pretty sure my post birth body is utterly repulsive, but frankly, I am too exhausted to care about appearances. I'm just thankful for all the extra blankets that I can hide behind. I hear Calanon laugh again at the comment as he rises from his chair to bid us farewell for a little while. He has to meet with the King and report to him on the condition of his family, he also wants to catalogue all the extra medicinal treatments sent by Lord Elrond, which apparently did wonders in the treatment of both my daughter and I. He leaves Eithril in charge and Ferel stays, because she wants to, but both ellith keep themselves at a comfortable distance, neither being too intrusive to our quiet family bonding.

"She needs a name," I say to Thranduil as I reluctantly relinquish her to him. He has been patiently waiting for a cuddle for the past hour, and I have done quite well at evading it, but his incessant pleading has eventually won out.