Alive (Phan)

TWENTY TWO

Something I've learned in my short time on this earth is that people are very complicated. People are so much more than an idea. They're definitely more than our individual ideas of them. We can never fully comprehend anyone because people are just too complex and impulsive for that. My problem was that I thought I understood Phil, but, as I soon learned, I didn't understand him at all. 

"I don't get it!" I shouted, punching the doorframe, "Why the hell would he lie to me?" I asked angrily, watching as my knuckles slowly began to bleed.

"Technically," PJ said quietly from across the room, "you don't know that he lied."

"Oh, come on!" I said, throwing myself onto the bed, "He's been gone for five—nearly six hours!"

'"So?" Peej asked, "Maybe he lost track of time."

"Phil doesn't lose track of time studying," I rolled my eyes, "Especially not for six hours."

"He could've gone home or something," Peej suggested.

"He would've called if he went somewhere," I said, hugging a pillow.

"Have you called?" he asked.

"Why should I call?" I asked, annoyed.

"I duno, something could've happened," PJ said.

"I'm sure nothing happened in the five-minute walk from here to the library," I said, squeezing the pillow a little tighter.

"Well sorry for trying to help," Peej snapped.

"Sorry," I said curtly, "I'm just worried."

"I know," Peej sighed, getting up and crossing to sit next to me on the bed. "I am too."

"He's been disappearing for a while?" I asked Peej, "Isn't that what you said?"

"Yeah," he admitted, "I guess I just thought that once you moved in it would stop, but..."

"But what?" I asked as PJ's voice trailed off. He sat silently for a minute.

"I dunno," he answered simply. "He used to run off a lot when we were kids, but it's been so long I just thought he outgrew it."

"What do you mean, 'run off'?" I asked, propping myself on my elbows.

"He used to just disappear. Go on 'adventures': that's what he called them. This was when we were, like, thirteen, mind you. He would go find strange little shops downtown or explore cemeteries or sometimes we would go to the boating lake in Heaton Park," I couldn't help but smile at that, "That was his favorite place to go. We always told him he was crazy and that he was going to drown or get arrested or something, but he didn't care. He never listened to us." Peej's face fell, "But then sometimes he would get sad and then he would disappear and none of us knew where he went."

"You think that's what he's doing now?" I asked, "But he isn't sad, is he? I mean, he seems fine to me."

"Yeah," Peej mumbled, "But it started after all that drama with Chris. I think maybe that's what triggered it." Peej ran his hands through his hair, "I just don't know."

"You have no idea where he could be?" I asked, anxiously. Peej just shook his head.

"I went to talk to Di about it because they used to be really close so I thought maybe she would know something, but she didn't. It doesn't make any sen—"

PJ was cut off by the buzz of my phone. I rushed to grab it off the table, "It's him."

"Answer it!" Peej said, shaking my arm.