Escaping Lights - A Greyson Chance Fan Fiction

Chapter 15: Emotions Taking Charge

I once read that regret was a pointless emotion. And I can say that it was right, because what happens when you feel it? It only makes you feel bad about yourself, and nobody in their right mind would start recalling their foul memories and be proud about them.

     Why am I saying these things again? I don't exactly know if I'm starting to have this sense of qualm. But, I'm not going to lie, I do miss home. I've never been gone for more than three days, and I just feel or think as if I'm becoming a stranger to Oklahoma. The big question is, am I going to surrender? Big answer: no.

     Call me stupid, desperate, selfish or whatever. But do you want to know why I don't want to go home just yet? I have this gut feeling, this strong instinct that tells me that I should stay in Manhattan longer. I know it's unintelligible to believe in what my dreams at night show me, but when I woke up this morning, I was sweating so much. I had an extremely enigmatic dream.

     In my dream, I was in a dark hallway with only dim lights to guide my path. At the end of the hall was a bright place, though I couldn't make out what it was. I ran towards it until I was out of breath. When I reached the light, I saw that it was an airplane taking off. Seth was by the window, my mom, my dad, and Nana too. They were waving at me, smiling. And I stood there, looking up at them as if I would never see them again. I had missed the flight. I started screaming what my lungs could offer. I teared at my face so hard that I thought my skin would almost bleed. Then a pair of arms snatched me, and I flailed around, trying to get free, but the grip was strong. I heard my name being called by the person who grabbed me. It was Greyson who was looking at me with anxiety in his eyes. Then the floor underneath us disappeared and we were falling down, down, down. Fear engulfed me, but it started to disperse when I discovered Greyson and I were floating down with falling stars. Meteors zoomed alongside us, and yellow glittery light surrounded the infinity of blackness around. Slowly, more familiar faces popped into view. There was Maddie, her face paint-strewn, holding a brush in her hand. Ruthie, who was giggling happily at me. Meredith, with her hair so red like it was ablaze, offering me her palm to take. I did. Jared was there too, his face paler than usual, wearing his mysterious smirk on his thin lips. And lastly, there was Erin, who wasn't sitting on her wheelchair. Instead, she was on her bare feet, looking so healthy and so beautiful that you would think she was a woman from royalty. Her smile was so hypnotizing that I could stare at them all day, but I snapped out of it when I realized they were whispering something to me. Their voices were low and soft, like they were saying a prayer or a chant. They were all saying two same words: "Don't go." They repeated it until their voices echoed, and all I could hear was nothing than that, and finally, consciousness met me and I woke, skin sweating and heart pounding.

     I had crept out of my room at four in the morning and went upstairs to chill myself. I went to the kitchen and served myself with a glass of water. Then, having no urge to go back to bed, I decided to sit on the couch at Living Room #1. My legs were curled before me and my arms were laced around my knees. For a few minutes, I was like that, pondering over my dream. The night before, I made a tentative decision of going back home, but after that, I had my doubts. That was when I made my final choice of spending more of my time here. I wanted to reprimand myself because that meant I would be distancing myself more from my family. Clearly, it seemed like my emotions were taking charge of me again. And I wasn't sure if it was the right thing for me to do. But I followed my heart, anyway.

***

"Phoebe, wake up, honey," a gentle voice said. Someone was shaking me.

     I groaned, "M-mom?"

     "No, dear, this is Meredith."

     "Mer?" I slowly sat up and squinted to see Meredith leaning towards me, still on her nurse's uniform. I supposed she just arrived home.