Escaping Lights - A Greyson Chance Fan Fiction

Chapter 35: Just As Well

I went home too early that Seth was surprised. "What kind of Friday night party did you go to? Did you just go for the food then left?"

I was seated on the couch, untying the laces on my shoes. I glanced up at him. "Of course not."

"Oh, I know. Maybe you just really needed to take a poo," he said, sniggering.

"I actually took a poo before leaving the house, for your information. Try again." I carried my shoes and started for the stairs barefoot. He followed me like a hungry chicken.

"Did you want to catch a show on TV?" he nagged away.

"No," I answered feebly. "Nothing's good on at this hour, anyway."

Seth noticed the sudden change in my mood. I knew he was expecting me to be more energetic and so full of life after I had seen Greyson, my summer boy. "Well, someone's turned 180 degrees tonight. What's up?"

"The night sky, idiot," I said.

"You don't have to remind me; I am very well aware of the brilliant placement of the massive sky, thank you very much."

"Then don't ask," I replied, rather too crudely that he took a step back.

"Whoa, chill," he defended. "If you don't want to talk about it, fine. I just want to know what's gotten into you." Leaving me with that, he went back down the stairs without looking back. I waited for him to disappear out of my sight before I opened the door to my room and locked it behind me.

Finally alone, everything that had happened came rushing back. I quickly went to the bathroom and stood under the shower.

Where did it all go wrong? I asked myself. How could he?

Yes, how could he do that? I understood his reason, I weren't so undiscerning. He didn't really cheat on me or her—Greyson and I weren't like that yet and he said they had broken up before he even met me. But was I really just a nobody to him that he so willingly swallowed his pride for her? Was I really just forgettable like that?

I wanted to fully grasp his intentions towards me. He had been so concerned about me and thought about my welfare more than he should have. He cared. Genuinely.

He helped me with everything when I had nowhere to run to, but I didn't really ask anything from him. I actually didn't want him alongside me in the first place, truth be told. It was him who pulled me into his world. Through him, I saw things I once hadn't, had the most fun, learned that I could harmlessly depend on friends, even made shocking discoveries about my identity.

I experienced what they conventionally called puppy love. I saw all the goodness in him, believed he was the only person who could have swept me off my feet, who opened doors for me, and made bells out of my laughter.

He made me believe that I was one of a kind, that I deserved all his attention, and that he loved me. I was foolish enough to not see through him. I completely indulged myself in his fancy words that I forgot to remind myself he was a total stranger that could well probably trick me into thinking he was trustworthy, despite being a fellow Oklahoman.

After changing into lightweight pajamas, I stood in the middle of the room, both hands on hips, discovering that I had nothing more left to do. I wanted to distract myself from thinking too much so I moved to the bookshelf and navigated through the titles. My eyes settled on Bridge To Terabithia. Now that's a book I haven't read in years.

I sat by my study desk, deciding to clear up the clutter and the pencils sprawled around before I proceeded to reading. I was gathering the papers in a bundle when a sheet filled with my handwriting caught my attention. My heart sank. It was the draft of the short letter I had given to Greyson. The letters seemed to jump out at me.

Dearest Greyson,
Happy birthday!!! Thank the Lord for another year! Wow, I am so thrilled about the idea that I am finally going to celebrate birthdays with you. Well, for your special day today, I wish you lots of festivities. I also hope you can make it through this year so you can get on to your next birthday (Joking, but seriously, though).
I am also grabbing this chance to say thank you for all the incredible gestures, big or small, you have ever done for me. I know I can never outdo your ways but at least let me remind you that whether or not you need me, I am here--as your friend or as the crazy girl you lived with for a few weeks. I know everybody can do with crazy once in a while.
I look forward to more adventures with you. But for now, allow me to represent my gratitude and symbolize our friendship through this gift I deliberately picked out for you. School and life may get in the way, but please know that I think of you every now and then, hence the gift. If I get to choose which person I would compete against and would bump in the airport into, it would still be you.
Lots of love,
Phoebe Dakota Howell

I crumpled it up and grudgingly chucked the paper in the wastebasket. I shook my head and gave up on the idea of reading. I instead lay on my bed and hid under the covers to find some peace in the warmth.

I took my phone one last time to check if there were was anything. Surprise, surprise—I had nothing. Feeling more and more angry, I opened the bedside drawer and stuffed my phone inside it. In the process, I felt something cold and metallic touch my skin. I hurriedly fumbled with my fingers for the object and when I pulled my arm out, my hand held out my charm bracelet.

I had almost forgotten about it, to be honest. Finding it made me feel some sense of comfort inside me. At the very least, here was an intricate thing from my past, before New York happened. It reminded me of the life before I was introduced to Greyson and the marvels he brought with him. I realized that I had actually been fine all along in his absence.

I brought it upon myself to feel like this, hurt and betrayed. It was all my impulsive doing. If I never left, I would never have gotten to know him nor gotten too attached to him. I would never have liked him. There would be no ex-girlfriend Denise to place my damned jealousy on.

I wore the bracelet on my wrist and stared at it in the light, slightly jingling my arm to create a chime-like sound. I made up my mind. I would only focus on the future starting now then put everything behind me—everything including Greyson. Nothing good will ever branch out from this silly anger I was feeling at the moment so I would teach myself to stop it. Even if I had to force it with every amount of strength I could muster, God knows I would want to forget.

The achingly beautiful moments would never be replaced, in all fairness, but the inexplicably heavy ones would definitely have to go. Perhaps the heavens intentionally brought Greyson and I towards yet another fork path tonight, so until then, it might be just as well for us to spend the time away from, and without, each other.

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SOTC: Cambridge by Kina Grannis ☺️