My Kidnapper Compares Me To Bottom Feeders

(24) Faultier

"Blair, look at this! The human is about to be eaten by that monstrous beast! He is walking straight into its trap." I shook my head and gasped at the television. "What a pitiful, stupid human."

"That's an airplane, Faultier," my angel murmured, her cheek pressed against my arm. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "They're about to die..."

"So it is a trap!"

She cuddled closer to me and in a voice coated with drowsiness said, "...eh. Kinda."

I frowned as the story the television was telling progressed. "They died? I do not understand how this is entertainment to humans."

"You don't get it because you haven't seen the first one." A first one... "And no, I'm not up for a Final Destination marathon." Blair's voice faded as she talked, she was nearly asleep.

The door opened with a bang, rusing my Blair from her peaceful slumber. I glared at the human pet...or "Danny" as Blair now insisted I call him. 

As he crashed in he wore a dark expression. Blair turned a menacing glare his way.

"Danny, why the hell are you so loud-"

"Not now, Blair," he said quickly, storming towards the center of the room. He looked quite devastated and strange due to the fact that a flower was placed above his ear. Blair opened her mouth to speak, but Danny held up a hand to silence her words. 

I clenched my jaw- how dare he silence my sweet Angelfish.

"A pigeon..." He paused slowly, hanging his head, "stole my bagel. And it was such a perfect bagel. But when I went back to get a new bagel...I was walking back...and one of those damn birds shit on my new bagel." He dropped down into one of the plush chairs that were situated in Blair's lair. "I just don't understand how I could be so unlucky. I'm like that guy from that awful Lindsay Lohan movie!"

"Maybe it's karma for being such a little bitch," Blair told him with a sinful grin. Her eyes were staying open, it seemed the sleepiness had all but melted away.

He returned her grin with a glare. " Yeah well obviously I'm better off than you. You were such a bitch karma got you pregnant." 

"Actually, that was me," I informed him. Blair rolled her earthy eyes.

"I know, Flounder, believe me, I heard about it." He hissed. Slowly he turned his dark look to one of sadness. "I hate pigeons." 

"Yeah, clearly they hate you too." She paused and her grin reappeared. "So why exactly do you have a fucking flower in your hair? Is this the sixties? Should I start calling you Aquarius or Starshine? Tell me now so I can start working on new insults." 

He shrugged his shoulder. "I found it this morning in my pocket and it was still in good condition. Isn't it pretty?"

"You have taken on a whole new level of gay, my friend," She told him, shaking her head. 

It was moments like those, when she shakes her head- such a simple thing- but her beautiful red waterfall of hair seems to glisten in the lighting.  Her smile- so devious and defiant and proud. She was truly the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I could not imagine being away from my radiant seahorse!

"Stop thinking creepy things," she said, pursing her lips at me. "I can tell you are." 

"Not creepy little Seahorse." I grinned, thinking back to her beautiful ink marking. "I am just reminded how much I love you by every little thing you do. You truly are beautiful, my sweet Blair."

Amazingly, a blush rose to her beautiful rose blossom cheeks.  Danny scoffed. "This is literally disgusting. You need to tone down the mush right now because I am depressed."