Something filthy about Mr.Haynes

Bad sample

Sam enters my bedroom, while i'm still in a bed, laying under the thin blanket. I pried my eyes open and now i'm oddly watching at the ceiling.

Honestly? I almost didn't sleep tonight. I was trying to figure out some hell of a plan. I was about to make a really huge mistake. I knew this very well. It's bad, more or less. But it has to be done.

The thought in my mind on killing Morgan.

I can't help it.

This man will discover all the things i'm doing here sooner or later, actually i'm surprised he didn't figured it out so far, and I need to fix it before all this collapses. There's also disturbing feeling in my guts that Jake won't keep his mouth shut.

The presence of Sam disturbs my thoughts while I'm in no mood for what he's about to say, but I know he will no matter how hard i'll try to avoid it.

"You awake?"

I shift in my bed, making myself sit up. I tilt my head towards him, seeing Sam lean on the door frame. "I am now. What do you want?"

"Need to talk to you."

"Just leave me alone, would you?"

There's regret in my voice, both anger and some choking emptiness in the depths of my heart. I can't do this now. I just wish they would all let me lay here for a few days and leave me on my own.

This loneliness I forced myself to live in day after day is what I want. I need this. For the first time in my life i'm actually afraid of myself. I lost my focus, lost control. This calmness that was grown deep to the bones now is fading, being replaced with some need for what i'll never understand.

The only thing i'm currently sure about is Serene. I don't know what is it she's doing to me, but she messed things up. I don't wanna hurt her, but in the same moment I want to kill her so badly.

When I brought her here, the things got worse.

I didn't ask for this. This had to be another experiment. I never thought I would get attached so easily, to let her get on my nerves, to lure me into this trap. I was trying to dig into my soul, to figure what is it exactly that I want, but I failed so badly.

I know Sam won't just get away. "I won't."

I let down my legs hang from the bed's edge and bury my face between my palms. The room is in freezing temperature and the acceleration of my heart is audible, i'm almost sure. I broke the thermostat the other night while shooting like insane. Now I gaze at the frosty air leaving my lungs after each breath, spreading into a cloud of white mist.

"I know. What do you want me to say?"

"What's happening to you? Lately you're not yourself. It scares the hell out of me. Of all of us, in fact."

"Jeezis..."-i roll my eyes annoyed,-"is this because I killed that bitch in the bar?"

Sam drops his hands in defeat when approaching me. "It's not about that. You've changed, man."

I see my best friend now standing in front of me. Worry in his eyes is real. I can't believe myself how I manage to reject harshly those, who care about me. Other than that, his presence in my cell, where I seek some quiet and solitude brings nothing, but anxiety.

Truth is, I don't know. I know something's happening, but i'm not sure what exactly it is.

"We all did",-i taunt standing up and going for a pack of smokes laying on the fireplace.

"It's not the same. I know I'm not the best friend lately, but I see you slip away, becoming into this cold-blooded..."-he pauses for a second, awkwardly watching at me,-"You never were this. What's wrong with you?"