Something filthy about Mr.Haynes

Freakshow

Chad's POV

"This all is fake. This is not real!"-i chant to myself, for I had lost my focus once again, that led me to another disaster. "This has to be a bad dream!"

"Get up! You're being a mess. Come on, why don't you listen to your handsome brother?"

"You're not that good."

"We're twins, you idiot!"-he laughs and I gather all my strength to pull myself out of the water.

"This all is a freakshow. And I am the ugliest clown".

"What Is he doing?"-whispers of evil souls enwraps me getting nearer.

"Look at yourself!"-he circles around me, obviously enjoying another of my failures. "All mighty Haynes, riper of the state can't deal with a loss!"-he smirks sarcastically. "You're being useless, crawling in the dirt! Get over with it already! Focus!"

In this eternal realm of confusion, however, in this world of freaks I have no one else to blame but me. I did this. I've ruined everything and my brother's slight comments are quite pointless.

And now, pulling up my throbbing head and gazing at the sleeping Shreveport lights I realize, that this is the only place I can remember I felt really good. When I found the way into this damn hell hole. When nothing could've stopped me, because I was going to get my girl.

"In your existence, brother,"-he continues,-"is only one question left now. Why are we here? No beauty, no anything good left around, but torment and despair. Why waste your life for this? Let's kill the little fat prick calling himself a king and get the girl back. Let's kill all of them!"

I ignore him. I want to vanish off of the surface of the earth so I don't have to feel. I don't want to feel this any more.

"Get up!"-they plead.

This loss is too much. I've lost her again and the idea itself makes me fuckin' mad and desperate at the same time. I don't want to get back up.

Red River paints my bloody knuckles. I crawl back again, just like I promised. I come back from the dead. Suddenly sounds of rushing waves settles into my head as annoying whispers that beg for one thing only. Revenge.

It's a burden my twisted mind cant seem to bare.

Though I just reached the surface, all bloody and wild I feel nothing. No hunger, no thirst, just the overwhelming exhaustion and need for sleep.

As I roll on my back in freezing red river, I let myself drift into a dream. Just for a little moment. I curl into a pathetic pile of dirt and wait for another hit that this time, I know, would crush me completely.

But heavy hammer sound pounding on my brain doesn't leave me alone.

I find myself terrified and lost. Just like the days before.

I pull myself up of the water and gaze oddly, examining the stains, looking for wounds in my body that would kill me.

The blood is not mine. "How extraordinary".

"Dying because of infection seem to be a lame idea?"

"It's caving in my blood, yet I am not dying. Why?"

Harrod sits on the shore near me and takes another sip of wine, giving me another blaming look. The creatures in this freakshow, it appear, are standing in line only to get to see me broken.

"What did you do for me?"-i laugh watching my legions mingle around. "You gave me nothing! Now you want something from me? Go away! Get out!"

Yellow orbs traces me curling on the shore. Cecil is standing on the top of a crowd, watching me with pity.