Something filthy about Mr.Haynes

Preparations

I lean on the dirty sink at the back office room and swipe the blood from the mirror with my palm. "The sun would come up any moment now",-i say it with a little hope that the night is not totally wasted, that when the time is right, I would finally be wide awake. Once and for all. And that someone so fragile, so breathtaking would cuddle in my arms. "But this time, I fuckin' swear, I would never let go."

I swipe another rushing drop of crimson red, that rolls slowly from the frame and catching another one on it's way, it scatters down. Faster this time, reminding me of the time I didn't cherish. The blood of Serene in all those weeks appeared to be so natural, like it's supposed to be on daily basis.

Now?

I long for it. I crave for it like my whole damn life depends on one small drop.

However, this is not her blood, but the blood of my victims. Still- is hell of a compliment, in fact. The way it smell, the way it taste makes my heart beat eradicate symphonies and breathe deeply, allowing me another moment of self control.

What can I say? I killed them, slaughtered them like a damn professional.

They didn't want to play.

And I was feeling slightly annoyed about that. That's why I didn't do the things I was planning-i wanted to burn someone down to a crisp, like the mother in the village weeks ago. Thing is- I can't wait any longer. It's not the time for my theatrical moves and improvisations. The longer I delay it, the longer i'm separated from Serene.

They didn't want to play. That's final.

Except for one bitch that made the offer I couldn't say no to. And she's right there to get me. "And so the reality may set in again."

Well...honestly she didn't offer anything, but from the horrendous fear in her eyes and pathetic innocent lies, i came to a conclusion myself.

"Today's going to be different!"-i encourage myself. "I'm gonna play nicely and I will pretend that I am ok. I'm ok, you hear me? You're ok!"-i chant insistently to the man in the mirror. "Everything has to be ok. Just focus, Haynes, it's not the first time you do this!"

So in overall-I killed 19 people tonight, and not including four guards by the entrance. That's something already.

I feel quite satisfied, I must admit. "Why these are the pleasures I grant to myself so tempting and right?"-i ask myself, still gazing at the bloody reflection.

"Let me go!"-a girl in the corner pleads. "Whom are you talking to?"

"Not you, obviously!"-i grimace at her and lick my lips. "What is your name again?"

"Nadia."

"Nadia,"-i sigh again and pull my eyes up to meet her fearful gaze roaming my bloody outfits. "You are the last one, that makes you special. I always leave someone like you for desert. Thing is, I have to do something, but i'm totally unprepared. Shame, isn't it?"

Her eyes are getting big and frightened already and i'm not about to deny that it turns me on.

"What will you do?"-her lips quivers as she whispers,-"will you kill me?"

Will i?

The good thing in all this mess is that Nadia didn't do drugs tonight. Even standing few meters away from her I can sense her blood is clean. "You didn't even try champagne. Why? And what are you doing with these crackheads?"

She bents her head down to avoid my stare, because I snap my eyes at her and curiously wait for the answer. "We're friends,"-she mumbles. "Were friends".

"Let me guess,"-i laugh washing my hands,-"then the monster came and tore your friends in peaces?"

"Pretty much!"-she whispers again, making me loose my focus.

Did she just say that?!

I can't believe my ears. Disobedience!

I grab the glass standing on the sink and in one swift move I throw it fiercely at the corner Nadia is sitting. She's playing with me again? Talking back? Calling me a monster?

"Stop!"-she yells, when the glass hits her knee and breaks into shiny peaces, that scatters on the dirty office floor. "Please, what do you want?"

"Oh!"-i moan and joyful smile instantly plasters on my face. "Would you look at that. That is not pretty at all. This is for talking back to me. Never talk back to me!"

Ok, I guess my psychotic part of bipolar wreck kicks in again...

I dry my hands with a paper towel and for a moment stand still, watching at the small frame of the girl, crouching by the couch.

She is the last one. And I know, that if I do everything right, I would loose myself again and I would finally see Serene. Truth is, when I asked her- where, I quote, my girl Serene is, this bitch tried to play me, saying that it's her.

I know, that these games are not for living anymore. I might just close my eyes and do the worst a man can do and surely- that would be it. But am I ready?

The memories of the night comes down crashing upon me. When I hurt Serene physically, when I almost....

I can't even say that. She's still a kid, God... it comes from my own hell, I guess. All these thoughts. It's making me horny.

"Why did you lie to me like this?"-i ask the girl still examining her outfits. This is sad. And I can't hide the sad smile in my features. "How dare you look into my eyes and lie to me like this?"

"Sir, I don't know...i.... i'm not the girl I was trying to pretend to be. I just don't want you to hurt me."

"I wasn't planing!"-i grin and fix my hair demonstratively,-"but since you want to pretend to be my Serene, the girl which is hundred times better than you...I don't mind. We can play for a while, screw around? We might even have sex. Who knows- maybe you're my key to reach the stage of mind i'm so desperately trying to reveal?"

"I don't understand."

"See, I consider myself a pro when it comes to killing. Sometimes I even see myself as a mysterious loner guy who can't leave any witnesses." I step forward and kneel in front of her, my still dirty palms cupping her cheeks. "Poor thing. You don't need to understand any of this. Why? What's the point? It's not that you're going to live another day."

"Don't",-she shakes her head hysterically, her eyes pinned on the remaining blood on my fingers,-"don't do this!"

"I'm loosing control, Nadia!"-i yell standing up,-"did those girlly mojo jalla-jalla things had to affect me somehow? Cause obviously-it's not working. And i'm loosing my patience with you. The least you can do at the moment is shut the hell up and let me concentrate!"

I grip my head in annoyance. I'm going crazy, really. Now, more than ever I feel threatened with this nearing terror, which would strike me any moment now. My guts are flipping, my head starts bouncing with pain, it's just moments before I loose myself. I want this. Yet i'm afraid.

I know i'm always trying to show myself this beast, cold-bloodied killer. But i'm afraid. Who knew that the all mighty killer, famous ripper of the state would crack for a woman? I don't know what would happen next and if i'm strong enough to defeat Morgan and all his squad of demons.

But I must be strong. For Serene, for everything we went through together.

So I swallow this rising tension and uncertainty within me and step forth once again.

"Come on, dress off. It's now or never, right?"