Just As I Am

Twenty Seven

David Waldman spotted Paula talking to some friends. She was just the person he wanted to talk to.

"Hello, Paula", David said.

"Oh, hey Pastor David", Paula said.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure'".

"How do you try to talk to someone who keeps ignoring you?"

"Well, I don't really know because I have the same problem with someone".

"Karen!" They both said in unison".

"I have her diary here", David said, pulling out Karen's diary from his bag.

"You can read if you want to", David said.

"No, sir. I can't . I wouldn't want anyone to read my diary".

"Ok. She's been going through so much. I didn't even know these things were happening to her".

"Well, my best friend Esther also went through the cutting and bullying Karen is going through and she looks exactly like Karen".

"I don't know what to do about this. I just took her diary so I could figure out what to do but I'm as confused as ever".

"Don't worry, sir. We'll figure something out".

David and Paula sat down, thinking and thinking.

"How could I forget? Today's the day Esther killed herself. Maybe, Karen's planning suicide right now!" Paula said.

"How do you know?" Dad asked her.

"I just have a hunch. All the things that have happened to Esther have happened to Karen, too. So maybe I'm correct".

"Then we have to leave as fast as possible", David said, grabbing his bag.

"Aren't you supposed to be preaching tonight?:

"Yeah, but it's a matter of life and death and my daughter's in grave danger".

"Ok. Then let's go!"

I looked at the rolled up papers on my desk. Finally, I had written something good. I had written to the two most important people in my life. Paula and my dad. These are the letters I wrote to them:

Dear Paula,

I'm sorry but I have to do this. I don't know why you were nice to me, but you were. Maybe, I'll never understand why. I'm sure you'll understand why I had to do this. I just want to say thank you. For everything.

Dear Dad,

Thank you for being there for me when Mum died and providing me with my basic needs. I know sometimes, we had arguments and I'm so sorry for that. I have to do this. You may not understand now, but maybe you'll understand later. I'm sorry you have to lose someone else but I have to do this.

I had been planning this for some weeks now. This was the easiest way out. If I did this, I wouldn't have to be a loner anymore, Melissa and her clique would no longer bully me and I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I knew no one would miss me. If I did this, I would be with Mum, wherever she is.

I looked at my bedroom, taking in the scene before me. These were my last breaths, my last steps and my last thoughts. I heard Paula's voice. No! What were they doing here? How did they figure this out? I wouldn't allow them to thwart my plans. I quickly grabbed the bottle of aspirin and without thinking, quickly poured the contents of the bottle in my mouth. I heard Dad screaming, "No!" as I slowly fell to the ground. Then everything went black.