Just As I Am

Fourteen

Two months later

I rushed to the bathroom, holding my tummy. I poured the contents of my breakfast in the toilet bowl. This was the umpteenth time I had thrown up this morning. I was glad I was on vacation because I'm sure I would have skipped school for like a week. Come to think of it, I have missed my period for this month and the month before. Hmm. Missed periods. Throwing up in the morning. Ethan. No. It couldn't be. There was only one way to make sure.

The smell of disinfectant wafted through my nose as I stepped into the pharmacy. I waited my turn in the small queue. I stepped in front of the counter.

"I'm buying a pregnancy test", I whispered so that the person standing behind me wouldn't hear what I had said.

The young woman standing in front of me looked at me quizzically.

"It's for my mother", I lied.

"Why can't she come by herself?" she asked me.

"It's none of your business!" I shouted, bringing attention to myself.

I quickly paid for the pregnancy test and left the pharmacy.

I quickly tore the wrapper off the box. I read and followed the instructions. I peed into an old plastic cup and dipped the test stick into it. I waited for a few minutes and looked at the test stick. I saw a plus sign. Plus means positive, right? I searched frantically on the box. Plus sign means you're pregnant. Pregnant? No! No! I couldn't be pregnant. Thanks so much, Ethan! Thanks so much for ruining my life!

I sat on the brown leather chair and tried to adjust it to make me feel more comfortable.

"Karen Waldman", a male voice said.

I walked up to the counter.

"I would like to make an appointment with the doctor for an abortion", I said.

"Do you have all the papers ready?"

I nodded and handed the papers over to him.

He looked at them and gave them back to me.

"Is Thursday okay?" he asked me.

I nodded and left.

Dr. Carson had finished examining me and I was ready to go through the operation. I know that I didn't need to lie but I wanted to practise those drama lessons I had taken. So I fabricated a story and told the doctor that I had been raped and that the judge had ordered that I have an abortion and get rid of the baby. I printed the papers and everything needed from the internet. You can get anything from the internet. I also forged my dad's signature.

Now, I was sitting here listening to Dr. Carson bore me out with his instructions and all that. I didn't bother listening to him as he told me about the procedure. I just couldn't wait for this to be all over. I was given anaesthesia. Soon, it was all over. Dr. Carson examined me again. I looked at the baby monitor. No baby. It was done. I didn't know that having an abortion was very expensive. I had used a huge chunk of my savings but I knew it was worth it. I just couldn't keep the baby. What will dad say or do? I knew that having a baby would bring a lot of problems to my life and I couldn't handle that right now.