Just As I Am

One

Author's Note 

This book is not meant to offend anyone so please don't get offended. This book deals with sensitive such as cutting, bullying, eating disorders and depression.  

 

" Do you ever look in the mirror and find a stranger looking back at you? Or see nothing at all? It's like I'm invisible. I'm someone I do not recognize."

"OMG! You actually got it!" Stella said excitedly, smiling.

I nodded.

"Tell me! Tell me!" Stella said again.

She was too excited for her own good.

"Ok. So I told my dad that I needed to buy a t-shirt for a church program", I told Stella.

"And he gave you the money?" Stella asked disbelievingly.

"Of course!" I said.

"And what if he asks you about the t-shirt or the program?" Stella asked me.

"I'll make up an excuse", I said.

I took the make-up kit from the shopping bag and showed it to Stella.

"I also bought some for you", I told Stella.

"You're the bestest best friend ever!" Stella said and hugged me.

"Can I try it on now?" Stella asked me.

"We're on the street, Stella", I reminded her.

"Oh, yeah. How silly of me", Stella asked.

We walked on for a few minutes and we finally arrived at my home. I took the key to the door from my school bag and was just about to open the door when I noticed that the key was already in the door. This was strange. I opened the door. Maybe  today, Dad had come home early. I noticed when I entered the room that there was only the couch in the room. I also noticed that there were stacks of boxes in the room. What in the world is going on?

"Dad! Are you home?" I called out.

"I'm here, honey!" Dad responded.

I followed his voice and found him busily packing some clothes into a suitcase.

"Dad, what's going on?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Honey, I meant to tell you earlier but..." Dad started to say, but I cut him off.

"Wait, are we moving?" I asked, realisation dawning on me.

Dad didn't answer, but the expression on his face gave him away.

"Ugh!" I said in disgust and left the room.

"Karen!" Dad called out.

I ignored him and ran outside. Stella could immediately tell something was wrong.

"Karen, are you okay?" Stella asked me.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine", I lied.

Stella gave me a weird look, telling me she didn't believe me.

"Okay. I just need to clear my head a little bit. I'll talk to you about it later", I told Stella.

She nodded, understanding me and left. That's what I loved about Stella. She understood me even when I spoke very little.

I went back to my bedroom and locked the door. I plopped onto my bed. Just when I had just settled in and made new friends, we were moving - again. I heard a knock on the door. I knew it was Dad.

"Karen! We need to talk", Dad's muffled voice said from outside.

"We don't need to talk about anything!" I shouted back.

'I'll break down this door if you don't open it Karen and I mean it", Dad said angrily.

By the tone of his voice, I knew he meant it. Dad could do anything when he was angry. I don't know why he was so angry. I deserved to be angry, he didn't! Reluctantly, I got up from my bed and opened the door. Dad entered and sat down beside me on my bed.

"Honey, you know that my job resumes that we move from time to time", Dad told me, opening up the conversation. I hated it when he called me that.

"But you promised!" I said.

"Honey, I'm sorry but we have to move"m Dad told me, trying to make me calm down.

"You just don't get it, Dad, do you? I'll have to find new friends and it will so difficult fitting in and I've settled in so nicely here", I told Dad.

"Honey, I promise that this will be the last time....." Dad started to say but I cut him off.

"Dad, don't make promises you can't keep", I told Dad before turning away from him.

He stood there for a few minutes without saying anything. He sighed before leaving the room. Promises are like babies. Easy to make but difficult to deliver. My dad had made a lot of promises he failed to deliver. This was just one of them.