My First Journal

9/26/15: Sickness

I'm sick which sucks and not much happened today.  It was slow and white and I spent it with my family, even my sister and it was all so clam and peaceful and reminded me of how it all used to be. I talked to Tamara over the phone for an hour today and we were writing our script. But every time she mentioned Malcolm I froze up. I'm thinking I should tell her to not talk about him to me anymore because I can't handle it. Only talk to me if it's vital. She asked me to block her from snapchat if her ex is on my story so it's only fair. I wish she would break up with him already, he's the worst. He's everything I hate in the world. Desperate, insensitive, privileged, rude, snarky, arrogant, oblivious.

Tamara told me Lance and Hannah had huge fight over the phone. I saw all the screenshots. Lance told Hannah to stop talking shit about him and Sophie and things got really bad. He said she was crazy and need mental help, she called him a fake friend and gay and a coward. He told her to block his number and there not on speaking terms. Lance sent this all to Tamara. Although Hannah is my friend, and Lance isn't really I kind of agreed with everything he said. He was telling her to give up on Alex and stop being so rude to Sophie and that there was something wrong with her. Because there is. She's no stable. She's lost everything now. All her friends. She is all alone.

Lance told Tamara she didn't ned to pick sides but it seems clear we've all picked. I'm afraid Hannah is going to kill herself now. There's not much stopping her from doing it. She told the only thing stopping her from killing herself is winning an oscar and although that seemed like joke maybe she'll be realistic and do it. It'll complicate things so much more. I hope that Lance and Hannah make up otherwise Hannah will be tormented. Lance has a lot of power and a lot of influence. She's nothing without him. 

Good night.