My First Journal

5/6/16: All coming to a close

I have about two months of high school left! I'm really glad I kept this journal though. It's crazy to see my thoughts from the beginning to see it all pan out but there's more to come. This isn't really my journal, it's about people important in my life so I'll tell you what's been going on.

Lance: He got into the school I pledged to but he's getting a suite and didn't invite me. It's okay because i'm going to come whenever I want to smoke I can come over. I'm glad he's still friends. We smoke a lot together, we spent 4/20 together and it's been fun. We also spent some time in Miami. Miami was weird, he acted like he wanted to spend a lot of time together but he really didn't. Clearly wanted to spend time with another group of friends I wasn't suppose to be with. We went snorkeling in Key Largo. I went to their apartment and his dealer, Cody was on the balcony packing a joint. That's all he'd been doing. He was crazy high the whole time and kept screaming about the train, he's got some hook up in Colombia and is actually sort of gangster for a white guy. He was talking about how is friend Mario got shot and it was wild. Sometimes I wished I lived like that.

I don't know if I have a crush. I know we mutually find one another attractive but we shouldn't ever date. The very mild flirting is fine. He comments on my ass but I can't help but feel a little for him. He's a nice guy but he's not a good person. He's just a rich addict with no moderation and is really self entitled. Love him to bits though. I know if he'd try he'd succeed in life.

Peter: Peter and I are really good friends, we've gotten super close and we've been working together on his film and he's worked on mine. I don't talk about Peter much so i'll tell you he's this gay androgens model. He has super long hair and will only wear platforms. He's got this daddy fetish and loves Marilyn Manson and Lady Gaga. I think he's the only person I know who'll become famous. His best friend is this guy named Tim (I don't know if I'd made up a name for him yet) but he's really conflicted about his identity coming from a homophobic republican household but being friends with a gay liberal. He's a great guy though. Also going to my college.

Also become really good friends with Sophie/Sara ( I should pick a name). We snapchat everyday. She's a handful but she's a good time.

So here are the main events:

- Tamara and I are no longer friends. We'd been distancing but one day we came into film theory and Tim started yelling at her, calling her out for telling everyone he voted for Trump in the primaries. She denied it, he said she loves starting drama. I couldn't' help but laugh it was so ridiculous. Tamara storms out and starts crying gin the hall, Hannah comes a comforts her. Turns out it was Hannah who told everyone but let Tamara take the blame. A few days later Tamara and I have a film in a festival so I text her if I can come over. She responds "idc" so I just come, I know she's really mad. I come over and she's wearing her prom dress. We are talking and it's fine while were walking she says "hate to be a cunt but just letting you know were not going to be friends" I except it and she rants how I social climbed and I used her and how I'm a shitty person and then has the gull to assume I'm abusive. I start yelling how she's abusive and made me scared of everything and scared of her and controlled me. I tell her if she has a problem with me she probably has a problem with Lee to. She says she doesn't the stupid bitch! I tell her on 4/20 he ditched her in the bathroom to come and find me. We go to the festival and I have to pretend that didn't happen. Anyway, out film doesn't get shown and she start screaming and crying in the festival. I leave, that Monday she asks to take the train so I dip. So, it's over. Weight off my shoulders.

- I asked to be on Perter's film set and he said "okay" so we got excused for the day. Peter, Tim, Lance, Serena and I jumped in Tim's car to go to Peter's house. Shooting was really fun and cool we ate Taco Bell and were dancing in the car and laughing and I felt so teenager and free. We had so much fun and I got much closer to everyone. Lance left for the airport and so Peter's childhood friend Manny came over. Tim said he thinks Manny likes me but I'm not with it. We jus talked in Peter's room for hours and then Tim drove to the train and we just listened to music and chatted. It was wonderful. I'll miss these years and I know it. Best two years of my life.

So I really will go hard on this journal in June. I want to really document the end. Once summer starts I'll end this journal and start a new one about Summer if anything interesting happens and then do a college journal. (Maybe combine the two)