My First Journal

10/1/15: Jew Club

The other day I went on my first tinder date with Van. It didn't go very well. Although he wasn't particularly attractive in text we hit off. I met him an hour late (whoops) at the museum and at once I didn't feel an attraction especially when I heard his voice. We couldn't afford tickets so we chilled in the park. I did most of the talking which is rare for me and he seemed super nervous and all which was a turn off. It's not his fault but I need to be the shy one in a relationship. I need a boy who takes charge. We talked and I talked mostly and we had a lot in common and was he was really nice. I barley looked at him though. I couldn't make eye contact. I don't know if he liked me either. He cut the date off and he walked me to the train and we talked and he told me he'd see me around. He hinted at a second date but I wouldn't go on one if he asked. Maybe he saw I was uninterested because he hasn't texted me either. What a relief. I didn't want to let him down. Luckily it was a short date. I was loosing my attraction to Julian because he's a dick but compared to Van he's more attractive then ever. I need a super sexual bad boy sometimes.

I thought about texting back... wait did I say his name? Whatever. The guy I made outwith and he stopped talking to me. Maybe I thought we could be fuck buddies. If I get really desperate I'll have no choice. Like the Smiths once said "I am human and I need to be loved." We all need some exciting sexual action to keep up alive and young, right?

Lance, Tamara and I went to Jew club which will look good for college. I was the only non jew there but it didn't matter. We had a lot of fun and Lance and I really got along. We made a ginger bread house for this Jewish holiday and we just chilled out and laughed. I wish sometimes Lance would want to be my friend when Tamara wasn't there. Also, I know sometimes iI say Tamar or Tamara. It's not her real name so I forget a lot.

Lance and Hannah are back to being friends which is good because you can tell Hannah is a lot happier. This might lead to some problems but now Hannah is not alone and she won't kill herself.

Hannah's having a halloween party which I'm stoked for because it will be my first one. I'm going as a sexy nun for halloween I think and I really want to have sex with Julian by then. Julian forgot my name again today which is annoying though he keeps saying he remembers me.

I really wished he remembered he asked to hook up with me. I want him to ask again so bad.

Goodbye. Have a good day.