So my short horror film got into the film festival! Yes! I'm so happy but things with Tamara were going good until today. She's fucking crazy. Sometimes out of the blue she'll call me a whore. Even Lance told her to shut up. She'll call me a bad friend, an awful friend. Today on the train she said "Aren't you glad you met me? Who would you go to prom with unless it was me?" She was right but who the fuck says that? I mean are you kidding me. Sometimes she'll rub her slashes and ask how it makes me feel. Why would you do that? I wish that she would just stop. I wish Lance and Sophie would become my best friends and I wouldn't have to deal with her. She needs to stop. She doesn't give a fuck about my feelings. When I told her to stop she had to pretend me saying I'm pretty is offensive. Stop being the victim, for once. I'm just trying to tell you how I feel.
Anyway Lance said he liked me, as a friend today. He told Tamara he thought I was really funny and he really liked me. Life is so crazy sometimes. I used to fear him so much. Now were friends.
Also Lucius and I have scheduled to have sex on Friday. I don't know. I'm nervous. I mean I love being with him, I have no feelings for him but it's big deal and were using each other but sometimes I'm feeling more used. He asked me to come over and he was a little rude about it. When he asked if I wanted to have sex and I told this weekend and he said okay I'll see you then instead. I just don't want to thrown away. I'm not a fucking delivery system. I'm not pussy on your doorstep. Stop it.
I found out Julian got suspended that's why he hasn't been in Spanish.
Bye.
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My First Journal
No FicciónALL THINGS THAT HAPPENED ARE REAL. THIS IS NOT FICTION. A diary documenting my final year of high school. Recently life has become this very strange television like reality for me. I went from invisible to involved. This is an entirely true account...
