Consumed By Love (on hold)

Chapter 18>>>

I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up but here. So, how can I find my way? Is there a chain saw of the soul, an ax I can take to my memories or fears?  -Speak

Shailene POV
"Just a couple more questions for you." The officer sitting across the table from me says. I've been here about an hour, and another hour I spent at the hospital. I have a minor concussion, and bruises everywhere. Down there is fine the doctor claims- keeping out emotional pain and scars.

"Okay." I say sighing. Theo hasn't left me alone, except to this point. He wasn't able to come in with me for questioning. He's still sitting in the lobby though, and it's two in the morning- and he has work later.

"You said that he didn't get the chance to fully rape you, someone stopped it before getting to that point?"

"Yes. He was um.. unzipping, and then Theo, um Mr. James heard me and came over." I tell the man. My voice still isn't steady and I'm still so shaken.

"I see. And how do you know Mr. James?" He asks and I gulp slowly.

"He's one of my professors." I answer truthfully.

"And you relationship with him is...." The officer questions.

"I'm a student of his, and he's my teacher." I answer less truthfully.

"Any other relation?"

"No." I say and look down in my lap and then back at the man. "Sorry. I'm still shaken up." I say to cover up my lies if he was catching on.

"It's alright." The officer says, his voice a rich Scottish accent- he must've moved here to Oxford.

"If we have more questions for you we'll call you. Thank you for your time." He says and leaves the room, keeping the door open for me.

I stand up and leave as well, closing the heavy door behind me. Theo's sitting in one of the two plastic black chairs they have set out in the hallway.

He gets up the moment he sees me. 'Hey, how did it go?" Theo asks concerned.

"Fine." I say and he wraps an arm around my waist as  we head for the main doors.

"I lied to him." I whisper to Theo, feeling like they have eyes and ears everywhere--which they probably do.

"About what?" He asks.

"You." He stays quiet but I can almost tell what he's thinking.

We pass the front desk and go out to the parking lot. Getting into Theo's vehicle in silence.

Once we're on the road again I turn to face him. "Theo?"

"Yeah?" He says and glances over quick.

"Can I spend the rest of the morning at your place? I'm just--" "You don't have to testify for yourself." Theo says with a light chuckle, looking back over at me quickly again since he's driving.

"Thank you." I whisper and look out the window.

>>>>

I sit up crying and shaking for the second time, feeling the same pair of arms that have comforted me each time. Theo brings me into his lap, and holds me close-protecting me the best he can.

The image of the man and the feel of his rough calloused hands sliding over my body fill my mind when all I want are for the memories to be drained from my mind.

"Shh, it's okay. You're with me, you're okay now." Theo whispers soothing things into my ear, his breath tickling my neck.

I lean back into his chest, letting the warmth of his bare skin soak into my cold body.

"What time is it?" I ask, wiping some of the staining tear off my face.

"Around five forty five." He says and I know that he has to get up soon.

"I don't want to go today." I groan to myself. "You're not." Theo says and I look at him oddly.

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused. "You are staying right here today. No school, and you have access to everything here." Theo says and slide out of the bed.

"You're seriously trusting me to stay alone, in your apartment?? And not go to school too." I say and he nods.

"Why?" I ask shaking my head as he heads for the bathroom.

"Because you're not in a state to be around that amount of people and stress. That environment in particular." He says and I can't really argue- he's right.

I sink back into his bed, the navy sheets covering my waist and everything below. My head pressed between the head board and one of his silver pillows.

I hear the water turn on- indicating he's taking a shower. I shut my eyes, the light shinning from the crack in the bathroom door being the last thing I see.

>>>>>

I wake twenty minutes later to Theo shaking me awake and tears rolling down my face.

He gathers me in his arms, and by now he's in his work clothes-a dark brown jacket and same colored pants. With a white dress shirt underneath, one button undone at the top.

I lean back and out of his arms. He doesn't say anything, just looks at me. "Same nightmare?" Theo asks and I nod- the image of the man stuck in my mind. Feeling like he'll never leave me now.

"Yes. He was clinging on me, and touching me over and over again." I say sobbing and wiping the tears I can off my face.

Theo closes his eyes looking down, and reopens them looking back up at me.

"I'm sorry Shai." Theo simply says and I look into his brown captivating eyes.

"Why?' I ask, sniffling a bit.

"Because I was there at that bar with you and the one time we parted... this happened to you." He explains and I never thought how he felt about the situation. I mean I was the one assaulted, I never thought to ask him.

"It's not your fault. And you were still able to stop it before he actually stick himself in me." I say cringing at the thought that that almost happened to me.

"I should've went with you though." Theo pushes, and cup his face in my hands.

"It happened. I'll have to live with it, but Theo don't beat yourself up about it okay. It wasn't your fault." I say looking right into his eyes, not taking my sight off him for a second.

He leans in and brushes his lips against mine, the heat from his transferring into me. We kiss softly- and to think back I don't think we've ever had a rough rushed kiss.

He pulls back and pushes a piece of my hair behind my ear that had fallen into my face. "I'll see you later." He whispers.

"Rest." Theo tells me and kisses my nose before leaving.