Consumed By Love (on hold)

Chapter 41>>>

I'm not saying that I think of you constantly, but I can't deny the fact that every time my mind wanders, it always finds some way back to you.

Shai's POV

Waking up, normally it would be morning. With the new day sun streaming in and the birds chirping their morning songs, but now it's late in the afternoon. Opening my eyes more, I look over to see Theo still sleeping. He's still got an arm wrapped tightly around my waist, holding me in his arms as if for safety.

He looks so peaceful sleeping. Younger even, the way his brown curls tangle and mess as he snuggles deeper into his pillow. I smile, grateful to be able to wake up at anytime in the day to this.

"Staring at someone while they sleep can be considered creepy." Theo mumbles, his lips muffled by the pillow.

I laugh, and kiss his forehead. The warmth of his skin meeting my lips, pulling back they still tingle from the touch.

I pull back and meet his newly open eyes.

"You feeling okay?" Theo asks me, pulling me back into his warm open arms. The contact of bare skin to bare skin would normally make me feel uneasy, nervous even. But with him... I feel comfortable. Confident. Home.

"I'm sore, but I'm fine." I say, and feel his fingers run through my long lock. And his lips press to my temple, his lips lingering.

The way we lay, in each others embrace is how I could stay forever. The feeling of him and I, and almost as one.

"This scares me." Theo says, his voice entering the air and I can feel the rumble of his words through his chest.

I look up, my eyebrows furring a little bit at this. His fingers skim down my legs, sending goosebumps over them but he acts as if it's something he does everyday.

"What?" I ask.

"This. You. Us." Theo says, making eye contact with me. His dark chocolate orbs looking deep into mine.

"Why does it scare you?" I ask, my voice soft but filled with curiosity. It's the first he's ever really told me that.

"Because you're all I think about. You're all I ever think about Shai." He says, his voice breathy and his words vulnerable.

"I try sometimes to think about something else, and when I finally don't see you in my mind.. that's when you appear again."

"And that's bad?" I ask.

"No, it's not. It just proves to myself... that I am dangerously in love with you." Theo says, and I giggle softly.

"I say dangerously because one day, you're going to leave. Or realize that you could have someone else... someone better. And that'll be the day I fall apart." Theo says, his eyes holding the level of emotion that his words do.

"Theo." I breathe out, cradling his cheek in the palm of my hand.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving, and I'm not going to realize that there's someone better... because there's not." I assure him, and I speak not from my mind but from my heart. Every word, every phrase, every syllable... meaning the truth.

"God I love you." Theo says shaking his head, almost as if this was some crazy dream he never wanted to leave.

And maybe it is. Some dream, some fairytale... some alternative universe. Because everything with him is perfect, and I know that life is never perfect.. no such thing as perfection. But maybe for now that's okay, to absorb this moment and hold onto it for as long as we both can. Live in a perfect dreamland for a little while.

>>>>>>

Standing in front of the mirror after taking a shower, I see marks and meanings on my body. Only in my black bra and matching underwear, my skin is bare.

On my neck, to my stomach, and lower on my thighs. Love marks is what I'd call them.

Images of moments like these flash in my eyes... ones of me standing in front of the reflection of my black and blue body. Tears flushing my eyes, and my hands shaking with fear. Not now, not today.

Today, I'm covered with stamps of the places he's kissed me, not bruise of where he punched me. Marks of love, not prints of violence. Claims on me, my body, my love... not a piece he can throw around.

Theo holds me with love. A love so deep, I've yet to feel the true extent of. When I look at him, when I feel his arms wrap around my body, when I smell that familiar scent of him... I feel safe. I feel like I'm someone's and that I mean something to somebody--that somebody being him.

Some days waking up, and see him beside me it still doesn't feel real. That I have him, that I have a man like him... but I just have to remind myself everyday. That he is here... he's mine.

The smell of soap, testosterone, and a hint of pine enters my noise. And looking at my reflection, I am now being held my Theo. His chin resting on my shoulder, and his lips pressed behind my ear. His arms; like ropes keeping me captive in his embrace.

"You're beautiful." He whispers to me. And without thinking, without doubt... I believe it. For the first time in such a long time... I truly believe it.

Sometimes you just need that one person to tell you those two words, to get rid of any doubt. Any fear. Any insecurities... and just show you what they see every waking day. And sometimes... you can just believe it.

A/N: Hey all!! Kind of a small filler chapter, hopefully get longer and more intense chapters soon. :)