Work For It (Daniel Ricciardo)

China

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The followings days after a Grand Prix were always difficult, there was never much time to recover, always up and onto the next thing the following Monday. Luckily for me, and Daniel, I had booked us in for minimum training for the first few days.

The only thing was, I still didn't see much of Daniel.

I had gone back to England to spend some time with my Dad, which I must admit, we didn't do much, we just caught up. I spent most my time telling him about anything and everything that had happened when we were in Australia and Malaysia.

But, by the Wednesday, I was back 'home' in Milton Keynes with Daniel on his flight over now...which was unusual. Usually, he'd be in Monaco for at least the first week, and then come back and work his butt of in the stimulator for Monday and Tuesday before we all flew out for the next race.

Maybe he just wanted to change it up.

Or he was up to something.

Which I didn't mind at all. Total lie.

Of course I was curious as to what he was up to, what else did I have to wonder about?

Well, there was my relationship with Jade, which...at the moment was non-existent. We hadn't spoke for nearly a month now. I was hurting, for sure, she was my best friend. But while I do blame myself partially, she has a phone as well. She could easily phone me as I could her.

And there was whether Daniel was actually doing the exercise that he should be. He could be a lazy git when he wanted to be. And with no one to tell him to actually do anything, I was fearing the worst.

He'd be fine.

Besides, I had more things to worry about with Daniel. Away from F1.

I was confused as hell. It wasn't to do with Dan himself. Obviously, I was confused about him, but not by anything he had done.

He was perfectly perfect.

I just felt I was a massive head fuck for him. I told him originally I had wanted to take things slow, which ended up lasting what, a week?

And now I've told him I wanted to go faster than just holding hands, but not so far?

How did he even manage to keep up with me? I couldn't even keep up with me. I had no idea what I was doing. In a way, this was Dan's fault. But because of me.

He was amazing. So amazing, that I wanted everything and anything with him. But at the same time I didn't want to fuck things up between us.

I wish there was a switch to just turn off my thoughts. To just be with him. And be happy.

Not saying that I wasn't happy with Dan, of course I was. Anyone in a five foot radius of Dan was simultaneously happy, because of his personality. He radiated happiness.

And, obviously, he had his times where he was frustrated, angry, sad, but I never wanted to be around a sad Dan. I'm sure there are times where he's frustrated, especially more now that his car was majorly underperforming. But, I'm positive things would get better. I felt I could deal with Dan, any mood he's in, that's why I want to be with him.

But, a Dan that was feeling anything other than happiness, directed at me, was something I wasn't sure I could cope with.

That's why I didn't want to trouble him with anything. Anything going on in my head about us anyway.

I decided in that moment, curled up in front of the television, covered in two blankets with a box of chocolates in reaching distance, that I'd shut my brain off, that I'd try my hardest with him, for our relationship and if I'm me, and he doesn't like that.