Numb. || mgc

Chapter 8

Monday. My phone alarm going off, telling me to wake up or else I'll be late. Michael never came to classes anymore, so I didn't have to worry about seeing him.

I decided to wear a grey sweatshirt with ripped skinny jeans and red converse. I brushed and curled my hair and applied light eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara.

I grabbed my bag and headed outside. I wanted to walk to school today, so I woke up earlier.

Calum and I were talking a lot more, and I think that I've been developing feelings for him. He's always been there for me, and he hasn't let me down. Yet. He is so nice and caring to me, but he doesn't understand, and I haven't told him anything.

The entire walk I was thinking about Calum. Michael had barely crossed my mind since the night of the phone call.

When I stepped into the school a wave of panic hit me. I could just feel that something would go wrong today. I was a little late, but I managed to get to English before the teacher started the lesson.

I stopped in my tracks. Next to my usual seat, was a boy. Tall, red hair. Green eyes. Michael. Michael Clifford. The one person I didn't want to see. I reluctantly took my normal seat next to him and didn't look in his direction.

I could feel his eyes burning into my head. I just wanted him to look away. I looked out the corner of my eye, and he was writing something in his notebook. Then crossing it out. Then writing it again. And that process continued. I couldn't see what he was writing, but I knew he was upset.

But he doesn't like you anymore. I shouldn't care. I needed to get over him. And I like Calum. Michael's best friend. I know it's wrong, but he is always there for me. He has never let go. And Michael did. Or maybe it was you.

Michael's P.O.V

I was staring at her, and I knew I was making her uncomfortable.

During the entire class, I was writing the words that she had said to me. "Now that I'm broken, and now that you know it. Caught up in a moment, can you see inside?" I kept writing them, and crossing them out, then writing them again. Then I realized. These weren't about her. They're about me. I'm broken. And she knows it. But she doesn't care.

~~~~~~~~~~

Once school was over, Luke took Ashton and I to Leo's to hang out for awhile.

"Okay, Mike." Luke said as we sat down with our coffees. "What's going on with you and Cassie?" I sighed and contemplated whether I should tell them or not.

"Just spit it out." Ashton rolled his eyes and I shot him a look.

"Alright, alright." I took a sip of my coffee. "So I told her I loved her and we kissed and she said it back. Blah blah blah. Then we just stopped talking. And being the drunk asshole I was, I called her up and told her that I didn't like her. But hell, she seems happy with Calum." Their eyes went wide.

Ashton almost choked. "C-Calum?!" I nodded my head.

"I'm sorry, mate. I really am. You don't deserve to go through this. But Calum just thinks of her as a friend. That's all." Luke added.

I nodded my head, and felt a little relieved.

Cassie seemed awfully happy these days. Although I haven't seen her, the boys had. And they'd give me updates. Not that I cared, but still.

She doesn't care. She never did. We was the new girl. I decided to show her around. Who knew that I would fall in love with someone who doesn't love me. Who wouldn't care if I was dead or alive. She wouldn't care. No one would. I took the risk, and fell for her. Barely swimming. She didn't catch me and she just watched me drown.

~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, I was home. Luke and Ashton probably went to go fuck somewhere. Lashton af, amirite?

I went upstairs and pulled out my guitar from its case. I began strumming and playing random chords, until found what I liked. I got the riff, I just need lyrics now. I got a pencil and a notebook and tried to think. Hmm. I thought about everything. Everything that's happened in my life, and in these few months.

I began writing everything that came to my mind. I ended up with a full song. I began to sing the lyrics.

Everybody's got their demons
Even wide awake or dreaming
I'm the one who ends up leaving
Make it okay

See a war I wanna fight it
See a match I wanna strike it
Every fire I've ignited
Faded to grey

But now that I'm broken
Now that you know it
Caught up in a moment
Can you see inside?

'Cause I've got a jet black heart
And there's a hurricane underneath it
Trying to keep us apart
I write with a poison pen
But these chemicals moving between us
Are the reason to start again

Now I'm holding on for dear life
There's no way that we could rewind
Maybe there's nothing after midnight
That could make you stay

But now that I'm broken
And now that you know it
Caught up in a moment
Can you see inside?

'Cause I've got a jet black heart
And there's a hurricane underneath it
Trying to keep us apart
I write with a poison pen
But these chemicals moving between us
Are the reason to start again

The blood in my veins
Is made up of mistakes
Let's forget who we are
And dive into the dark
As we burst into color
Returning to life

'Cause I've got a jet black heart
And there's a hurricane underneath it
Trying to keep us apart
I write with a poison pen
But these chemicals moving between us
Are the reason to start again

The blood in my veins
Is made up of mistakes
(To start again)
Let's forget who we are
And dive into the dark

I even used the words she said.

The boys and I hadn't had band practice in weeks. Calum had drifted away from us, and we just hadn't felt like rehearsing. I mean, there really isn't a point in practicing when we're never going to get noticed.

I decided to record the song on my phone, and upload it to YouTube. It probably won't even get 10 views.

I put my guitar away and crawled into bed. Let's hope I don't wake up.

(AUTHORS NOTE)

Hello guys. This is like a filler chapter. Sorry nothing really excited happened. I'm really tired and wanted to publish this so I had to write it really fast. Ignore spelling mistakes, I'll fix those tomorrow.

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