Numb. || mgc

Chapter 7

It's been a month. A month since the kiss. Two months since I met Michael. And I wouldn't take back those days for anything.

Nothing changed between Michael and I. We both knew that we had feelings for eachother, but we didn't want to ruin our friendship. We acted like a couple, just like I do with the other boys.

We understand eachother. We know how eachother feels and we feel the same way. But there was something Michael was hiding from me.

We still saw eachother often, but he always left the room. He kept staring at his phone as if waiting for someone to call. Whenever he gets a call, he makes up an excuse to leave. But when he gets back, he looks terrible. His eyes are puffy and red. As if he'd been crying. He always seems a little out of place. He won't talk to the boys.
Ashton always finds him drunk in his room. Surrounded in bottles of beer and vodka.

I'm scared.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Look, Cassie. I talked to him. He says that you never talk to him and that you don't like him." Calum sat next to me and explained. I was confused. I always texted him, and I always made an effort to speak to him, but he never responded.

"But I always talk to him. I'm the one always texting him and making an effort to talk!" I stood up and started pacing.

"I think you should try talking to him now."

"But that's the thing, Calum! I have been. I always have been!" Tears started to sting my eyes and I tried to hold them back.

"I'm sorry, Cas. Just call him, okay?" And with that Calum left the room.

I ran out of Luke's house and didn't stop until I got home. Mom was gone, as per usual. After locking the door behind me, I went upstairs and sat on my bed.

I contemplated calling him. But as soon as I pressed his contact I instantly regretted it. I knew it would go straight to voice mail, but was surprised when he picked up.

I didn't give him a chance to speak. "So apparently I never talk to you?" I was upset.

"Yeah, you don't. You never do." His words stung, but I held back the tears.

"And apparently I don't like you." I said sternly. I was more confident, and my voice wasn't as shaky. I was ready for whatever he said.

"Yeah, you don't like me." He seemed annoyed. What an ass. I thought.

"But I do, Michael. I love you." I wanted to take those words back as they escaped my lips.

He laughed. "Well I don't like you though. So bye." He hung up. His words burned holes into my soul and I didn't stop the flow of tears from coming. The tears kept falling with no end.

He told me he loved me. But it was a month ago. He moved on. I didn't know what to do.

I picked myself up off my bed and walked to the bathroom. Oh the repetition. I hadn't cut in a little less than a month. I missed it. It's my drug.

The memories came flooding back as I cut. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. I didn't stop. I couldn't. The craving for blood was just too much.

I want to forget everything. The stupid little things, the memories. Just two months of knowing him, we took so many pictures. He's fine. But I'm not fine at all. We talked about our future. Our dreams. Our wishes. I miss our cuddles. I miss falling asleep next to him. I miss acting like a couple, even though we weren't. I miss him.

I have to laugh. I actually thought we had a chance. But he ended up just like the rest.

~~~~~~~~~~

Michael's P.O.V

I'm such an idiot. I loved her, I really did. But if we weren't going to date, what's the point? I need to get over her sometime. Why not sooner instead of later? She was lying when she said she loved me. I knew she was.

I've been trying to stay strong for her but she's killing me. I don't even know why, but she is.

She's better off with Calum. He likes her, I know he does. I hate that he does, because she is supposed to be mine.

I'm such a screw up. I went into my bathroom and stared in the mirror. I didn't even recognize the guy standing in front of me. I couldn't stand it. Looking at a complete stranger, realizing it's myself. The mirror was shattered, and my fist was covered in blood.

I took my blades out of their hiding and began to slash my skin. It wasn't anything new, but for the first time I was hesitant to keep going.

I stopped. I put the blades away and cleaned myself up. I can't keep doing this. I wanted to flush them, but I knew that I might need them again.

I'm such a fucking idiot. I knew I had to do something.

~~~~~~~~~~

I went to the closest drug store, and bought the cheapest alcohol that I could get. I had about 10 bottles, and I didn't want to remember anything.

Driving for another few hours, I finally reached the small park that I took Cassie to. The clouds above me were dark, and it started raining softly.

I grabbed the bottles and sat against the tree trunk. I chugged bottle after bottle, and I felt numb. I knew I wouldn't remember anything. I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't wake up.

Cassie's P.O.V

I calmed down a lot. I flushed my blades. But I feel like something is missing. The hole that the blades filled is now empty again.

I knew I had to get over him, but I couldn't.

I was laying on my bed, thinking. Trying my hardest to push him out of my mind. I couldn't stop thinking of him. I couldn't stop replaying our conversation.

Yeah, but I don't like you though. So bye. I sighed and grabbed some sweatpants and a tank top and headed to the shower.

I turned the heat up all the way and it relaxed my muscles. I missed it all. Being happy, being stress-free. But now I need to let go. I need to move on from Michael. I just hope he still wants to be friends.

I stepped out half an hour later and didn't bother to brush out my tangled hair before climbing into bed. I looked up at my hands, and I was picking at my nails. I need to break the habit.

I started thinking about my music. I had notebooks full of songs that I had written. Most of them are sad and unfinished. I haven't written in awhile.

I glanced toward my black guitar case. I should play. Sighing, I got out of bed and opened the case, revealing my old Yamaha guitar.

I picked it up and carried it to my bed where I sat down and started to play a few chords. I hadn't played in about a year, so I was pretty rusty.

I started playing the beginning to 'For Baltimore' by All Time Low, before I was interrupted by my phone ringing. It was Calum.

(AUTHORS NOTE)

Hello guys! This chapter is shorter than usual and I'm sorry for that. I may not be able to update tomorrow, so I'll probably update on Friday. And sorry for the typos if there is any. I'm writing all of the chapters on my phone.

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