Numb. || mgc

Chapter 21

He took me into the kitchen and we sat down on the bar stools.

"I know what's going to happen." Harry chuckled, leaning onto the counter.

"What do you mean? When? What is going to happen?" I was confused, to say the least. I was always straightforward, and I got annoyed when people would hint to things but wouldn't have the guts to say it to my face.

"When Michael and the other boys join us on tour." He said.

I still didn't understand. "What will happen on the tour?" I was starting to panic. Would something bad happen?

"You don't understand, do you?" He smirked, leaning in closer to me.

I just shook my head 'no'.

"We're teenage guys. We want to have fun. There will be parties. We will get drunk. They will get drunk. Well, there will be a ton of parties with a ton of people. And with parties... come the one thing we want. Girls." He looked at me and gave me a cheeky grin.

"What? What the hell are you trying to say?" I asked, my voice growing quieter with each word.

He sighed. "I'm just warning you. Be careful. Don't be surprised if you see pictures of Michael with other girls. Don't be surprised if you hear rumors that he is dating someone knew. That will happen no matter how many times it is denied. But sometimes it is real. Michael is young. So are the other boys. They will be stupid shits and sleep around. They'll have sex with a ton of girls and some will soon be known as their most used groupies. They won't care. They will make stupid decisions and hopefully they will regret them in the future. The fame will get to their heads and they won't think twice before doing something. They will use the attention that they are getting as an advantage. All I'm saying is that you should really think about if you trust him enough to be alone with thousands of girls for months at a time. I'm not trying to make you upset, I'm just trying to tell you the truth."

And I swear, in that moment, I could feel my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. I clenched my fists and shut my eyes.

"I knew it," I whispered, just barely loud enough for him to hear. "I actually thought about it for some time. I mean, he would be around thousands of girls each night! I can't believe that there will be girls all over him and he won't even think twice about sleeping with them. Truthfully, I'm jealous. He will be with girls way prettier than i would ever dreamed to be. But you know what? Maybe he will find someone better than me. Someone prettier. Someone smarter. Someone who can actually love him the way he deserves to be loved. Maybe she can give him everything that I can't. I just hope that she loves him with all of her heart and I hope he does the same to her. I hope when they look each other in the eyes they can see how much they love one another. I wish that was Michael and I. But whenever I look him in the eyes, all I see is disappointment. And I can't help to feel like it was me who caused him to feel this way."

I didn't hear anything. Complete silence. Until I heard someone sit down next to me.

"Is that really how you feel?"

I opened my eyes and sighed. The person sitting next to me was Michael.

"You just don't get it, do you?" I asked, looking him into the eyes.

"What don't I get, Cassie? Tell me what it is," He said sternly.

"Don't lie to me, Michael. You know that it's true. You're going to get famous, and you're going to be surrounded in girls. You are a teenage guy with needs. Obviously you're going to hook up with a fair amount of people. Don't try to tell me that you won't, because we both know you will. So will Calum. Luke and Ashton, well, they have each other to fuck. Calum will forget about Jessie. Just like you will forget about me. I just hope you find a girl who fix you. Because clearly I was the one breaking you." I held my breath to keep myself from crying. I could already feel the tears falling from my eyes, but I tried to cover them with my hands.

He just sat there, looking at me.

"If you're going to deny what I just said, you're going to be lying to yourself," I whispered.

Still, he stayed silent.

"And don't you go saying how you always loved me. Because you didn't. We both knew it."

He just sighed and shook his head.

"Now," I said, before he began to talk, "I'm going to leave. I am going to walk out that door and let you live your life without me dragging you down. Goodnight Michael." I pointed toward the door.

Just as he was about to speak, I cut him off again.

"Don't do it. Don't come running after me with an excuse. Don't tell me that I wasn't just a star to you but how I was your sky. That's completely wrong, Michael." I let the tears fall as I stood up and walked to the door.

I opened the door and walked out in the rain.

"I was never the sky to you, Michael. I was just a stupid shooting star that no one wanted to wish on."

I walked away without turning back.