Camera {Malum}

Video 11/24

February 7th

"Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes," I sang, strumming the guitar along to the song. "But it's the only thing, that I know."

I had been playing the guitar basically all day, for some reason just wanting to. And who was I to say no to myself?

"It is the only thing that makes us feel alive," and I suppose, that it was a good way to get rid of the song that kept playing my head. Not that I didn't like it, because of course I did. But if it's stuck in your head all day, it does get kind of... I guess boring.

"We keep this love in a photograph," I almost sighed, thinking of how true that sentence actually was. Michael and I, we kept our love in a video. Though, I couldn't say it was love, I could somewhat relate to the line.

"Times' forever frozen still. So you can keep me," I took a breath, still strumming my guitar like Ed Sheeran did, "inside the pocket of your ripped jeans. Holding me close until our eyes meet. And you won't ever be alone."

I felt a bit alone, honestly. Despite having my family and friends, I missed something. And I had a very good idea of what it was. Or more precisely; who.

"Loving can heal. Loving can mend your soul," I wish I had the love of someone, preferably Michael. I don't know why, but I just... I had this urge. To keep looking and keep going, until I die.

"And it's the only thing we take with us when we die," I took a heavy breath as I suddenly felt really sad, my voice cracking as I started the next line. I immediately stopped, putting my guitar away and cursing myself for starting on that song.

"Buddy buddy buddy!" I looked up at my door to see Ashton barging in, throwing the door closed after himself and then flinging himself at my bed. I blinked down at him, since I had been sitting on my bed and he was now next to me.

He really had a great timing, I had to admit. "Hey Ash."

"'Hey Ash'? That's all I get?" He looked a bit confused as he pouted. I, on the other hand, didn't know what to say or do.

"Are you okay?" He looked up at me worriedly, as he was now lying on his back, his head near my body. I simply sighed, before shrugging, "I guess."

"Cal," he raised his eyebrows slightly, giving me the look he always gave me if he could see I was bothered by something. "Wait, it's about Michael, isn't it?"

I nodded sheepishly, looking down at my black skinnies, starting to pick at the hole at my knee. I could just picture how stupid it must be for Ashton that I was so... well, almost like obsessed with finding Michael.

"Cal, you'll find him. Like I said, when it's supposed to happen, it'll happen." I simply sighed again, wanting that time to be sooner, because I just wanted to meet Michael. I needed to meet Michael.

"How about we just watch another video? Will that cheer you up?" Ashton didn't even wait for my answer, he was already reaching for the device I had placed on my nightstand.

He then sat back, pulling me along with him and cuddling me close as he turned on the camera.

"Video eleven," I spoke softly, as I knew he needed to know where I left off in order to go on. He didn't say anything as he chose play, simply pulling me as close as possible as the video started.

December 14th

"And here we have the mythical creature, named Michael Clifford, doing something so rare, it's barely even spoken off," Luke announced in a whisper, his voice low.

The camera was filming the floor and music could faintly be heard. It wasn't clear what song it was, but as Luke approached the room with the camera -which was still filming the floor- it got more obvious.

"I don't wanna know," the familiar voice sounded through the speakers, Luke opening the door to Michael's bedroom and moving the camera up. It revealed Michael, dancing on the music and either singing along or mouthing along. It depended on whether he knew the lyrics or if he knew half of them.

"This love is a blaze," Michael rapped along, trying to look a bit gangster as he moved along, "I saw flames from the side of the stage."

Luke was smiling, trying not to laugh because if he did, Michael would notice him and stop doing what he was doing. And that would be a bummer, because it was quite entertaining.

But, Luke had to admit that he was quite impressed Michael could rap along like that. Maybe he had practised a lot, or maybe he was just a natural when it came to rapping.

Michael ended the rap part and breathed out, stopping his movements and just standing still for a bit, catching his breath.

Luke frowned, letting the camera hang down -since it was hanging around his neck- and approaching his best friend. "You okay, Mikey?"

Michael turned to Luke quickly, still managing to feel embarrassed that he was caught, despite him being quite out of breath. "Y-yeah."

"Sure?" Luke looked at him sternly, but Michael simply nodded, waving him off, "it's fine."

Luke was still a bit doubtful, but he let it go. He then smiled and held the camera up again. "That was quite the show. I'm sure Column enjoyed it too."

Michael glared at Luke, taking the camera from him and carefully removing the strap from Luke's neck. "His name is Calum, stupid."

Luke rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Whatever. I might as well call him your bo-"

"Yeah so, Luke is being his stupid self again," Michael spoke loudly, drowning out Luke's last word as he had the camera turned to himself.

Calum didn't need to know Michael had developed a big crush on the guy. Despite the fact he didn't even know Calum.

But with all the daydreams and just the ideas of how Calum could be, he couldn't help himself but like him. It just felt... right.

"I'm not stupid, you were being stupid with your dance moves," Luke retorted, crossing his arms. Michael rolled his eyes -still filming himself.

"Let's make it less stupid and dance together," Michael said, at first joking but then remembering he still hadn't tried out the 'Just Dance' game he had once gotten. Maybe that would be fun?

"Luke, get your ass downstairs," Michael said, turning off the music in his room and marching downstairs. Luke didn't bother questioning the lilac haired boy and simply followed him downstairs.

Michael had put the camera on the coffee table as he set everything up, Luke sauntering into the living room a little later.

"Do we have to play this game?" Luke asked, not really up for it. Though, he had to admit that it made him a little excited to play it when he saw Michael so excited.

"Yes and we will play it until we die from not having enough breath," Michael said. Luke, however, rather disagreed, "I'd rather have both of us stay alive for somewhat longer, if you don't mind."