Suppressing Desires for the CEO

Chapter 10

Hi Rachel,

Call me.

Scott

That was the message that came in as I set my bags down and released whiskers from his leash. He was racing around the room, excited to be back from staying with Pam.

I dared myself not to reply. He was getting married. Given he had this story where he didn't love her, I knew it would hurt me if I continued to let us be together. I placed my phone down and walked away.

By the following week rumor had spread that Scott's grandfather was hospitalized, and the timing seemed to tie in with the call and sudden departure from the retreat. I felt a tug at my hurt, wanting to be there for him but finding no place to be. I thought again about sending him a message but decided against it. The News had caught wind of it by the end of the week and spun the story focusing on Scott's "uncaring" fiancé being in Milan rather than at his side. I didn't even call then as much as it pained me. I needed to stay out of that world. I needed to stay away from him. And I was sure then that I would be able to.

3 weeks later

I was feeling oddly light headed on a daily basis. The smell of bagels was putting me off and I was trying to choke down the feeling of wanting to be sick.

"So in a nutshell I am moving to Miami." Sarah finished.

My head snapped up. I had barely registering what she had been saying prior but that got my attention. Pam was speechless.

"I know, I know. It's too soon and rushed, but Chad and I are really happy." Sarah rattled on.

"I think you are mad." I said bluntly.

Pam turned to me. "What is with you Rachel Paul?! You have been sighing and groaning like you are sick or delusional throughout this breakfast?"

"I don't know what that has to do with my statement and-"

"Oh no no no." Pam wagged her finger in my face, "don't you dare. Are you PMSing or something?"

"Pam!" Sarah mediated.

"No!" I cried weakly, "in fact I should've been on a week ago. Think I skipped this month."

"Unless you are pregnant?" Sarah said eyes opening wide.

I laughed nervously.

"Get the hell out of here." Pam crossed her arms thinking. I could see her mentally deliberate as I sat in shock. Not wanting to react at all to the possibility." In fact, let us get the hell out of here."

She threw money on the table, quicker than we could protest and pulled me along.

It took us 15 minutes to get to the drug store, 10 minutes to get to my place, and 5 minutes to pee and leave the stick in front of a bunch of nervous girls.

A minute later, Sarah cried with glee and my heart stopped. The last thing I heard before I passed out was Pam say "Oh honey!"

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I was going to be a mother. A single one at that. I pressed my eyes shut. Sarah and Pam had woken me from my daze and dragged my mute body to the hospital where I had been put on a drip and then had my doctor called in who again confirmed I was expecting. I couldn't figure out how Scott and I had gotten pregnant. We had been so careful. I had stupidly stopped taking the pill because I had been celibate for so long and I wasn't enjoying a few of its side effects, but we had used protection. I could have sworn we did. I placed a protective hand over my stomach, willing myself to accept this new revelation.