Clandestine

thirty

-julia-

I wake up with a pounding headache. Unlike Rosalina's, it's not from a massive hangover. It's from the lack of sleep I got last night as I spent all the hours staring up at the ceiling of Rosalina's bedroom, trying to figure out Diane's strange reaction.

Perhaps Diane is just strange. Maybe she doesn't portray her emotions normally or has worked hard to suppress any normal feelings.

Maybe she just didn't want to show any weakness of a reaction in front of me. Perhaps her father was the kind of parent who taught his children to be as tough as possible and never let anyone see your weakness.

Diane could have already knew the truth above her father. Maybe my mother did tell her the truth and say that he was killed. Maybe she just said that he had somehow died. Or, maybe one of her father's friends had told her what had really happened.

I just need to stop worrying about it. This isn't technically my problem. Maybe I should be a little worried about my mother, but I know that she is more than capable at handling things. I wonder how many times she has committed a crime like this and managed to get away with it.

Power like that no doubt gets to your head.

Will I someday end up like that? So hypnotized by my own power that I don't realize what I'm doing anymore? Hurting people only because I can?

Carlotta and Rosalina begin to stir. Rosalina had no problem when we returned. She just continued sipping alcohol while chirping about how well she did at the fashion show. We eventually cut her off after she decided to write on her walls with lipstick about her success.

Carlotta was more than a little angry with me. I never told her the real reason for me wanting to go to the party and she was more than confused when I told her I wanted to go home. She became even more frustrated when I refused to tell her any details as to why I demanded to go home.

Between the drive home and our babysitting of Rosalina, we eventually got over it. While I didn't tell her the exact reason of our sudden departure, I'm too confused myself, she forgave me. She admitted that it was a rather lame party and didn't hold up to any of the standards that all of her friends had talked about.

I had raised an eyebrow and said, "Maybe it was because Alan Tinsley, the host, was dead."

Carlotta's cheeks became red and she nodded and fell quiet.

I plan to go home first thing once Rosalina and Carlotta drag themselves out of bed. Rosalina will surely spend the entire day grumbling about her horrible hangover. As much as she complains about it, she sure doesn't do anything to prevent it. I'm sure that Carlotta is just as exhausted as I am, after babysitting Rosalina all night.

Carlotta stirs and rolls over. Her eyes flutter open and she manages a grim smile before pushing herself out of bed. "Did I miss anything after I crashed?"

"If you did, so did I. I fell asleep right after you."

We both glance at Rosalina who's still fast asleep on her bed. She appears to be in good condition, though she did put an excessive amount of eyeshadow on last night.

Carlotta grins, "Do you think we should take a picture?"

"Definitely."

We both pull out our phones and take pictures of Rosalina. Once we are done, Carlotta says, "Julia, can I ask you something?"

I nod, even though I know what her question will be.

"Why did you want to go home so suddenly yesterday?"

I press my lips together.

Carlotta adds, "I know that you went to see Alan Tinsley's daughter. You didn't tell her the truth about your mother, did you?"

"No, of course not."

"Well, then? Did you talk to her? What did you say?"

"I did talk to her and I just made sure that she knew that her father was dead. I didn't want her to spend the rest of her life thinking that her father had went on a business trip and then abandoned her."

"What did she say?"

I say, "She already knew. She just thanked me and made me leave."

"Is she as rude as her father, then?"

I nod, even though I'm not sure if I believe it.

Rosalina stirs in her bed. "Why did I drink so much?"

"You were celebrating," I say.

She groans. "Why did I have to celebrate so much?"

Rosalina rolls over and promptly begins snoring again.

Carlotta says, "What are you going to do about your mother? Are you going to turn her in?"

"I don't know, I mean I can't right? I can't turn my own mother in for murder. Not only is that betrayal, but I'll be all alone. I can't care for myself."

"It's the choice between justice and loyalty." Carlotta says.

And I don't know which one I should choose.