Clandestine

fifty one

Julia immediately tries to launch into a long explanation. I'm sure she's figured it out in her head on what she will say. Maybe she even has it written out.

But she doesn't have to explain. She doesn't have to explain how she's constantly trying to outrun her genetics and her ancestors. She doesn't have to explain how family history constantly shadows her until it's the only thing that other people see. She doesn't have to explain how she was so afraid of the family rivalry that she didn't know what would happen if we talked to each other.

She doesn't have to explain because I completely understand.

I saw the guilt, the embarrassment, the shame that hit her face the second she saw me.

I talk over her, "Julia. Stop."

"I just want you to know--"

"I understand, Julia. Honestly. I've spent my whole life avoiding my last name because of my grandfather's history. I know why you didn't tell me who you were and if I were you, I probably would have done the same thing."

"I..."

"I'm serious, Julia. I understand."

"I should have told you sooner. It wasn't fair for you to find out today when you walked into that meeting room. I don't know how you managed to not react, but I'm really sorry."

"I already knew who you were."

"What?"

I say, "Remember when I told you that I could hack into the Assembly report website? Well the day you came to my house, I was curious about who you really were. You told me you had been punished. So I searched the name Julia and you popped up everywhere."

"And you didn't tell me?"

I smirk into the phone. "It was pretty funny watching you come up with excuses as to why you did or didn't know things. But, I didn't know if I could trust you. I thought maybe it was some form of entertainment for you and your mother."

And the little paranoid part of me whispers that maybe the meeting was part of their little game. Maybe this entire thing has been nothing but an act.

I crush that voice. It's ridiculous. I believe that Julia is on my side. I won't question it anymore.

I finally have an alliance.