Clandestine

eighty three

-diane-

The police eventually let us go with a strong promise that we will be watched. There are going to be police surveilling our streets. If we do anything suspicious, we can be sure to find ourselves in a lot of trouble.

One officer pats Julia's shoulder and says, "Just stay low for a while, kid." Then he looks at me and glares, as if I'm already planning my next crime.

Julia's too afraid to go back to her own home and Rosalina and Carlotta both have to face their parents tonight, since the police contacted the suspects' and apparently their friends', parents. Julia's decided to spend another night at my house, where she can sleep safely on the floor and enjoy Kristy's latest warm cookies.

When the police called Kristy, she broke into tears. She promised to do everything that they ask while telling them over and over what a good kid I was. I doubt they believed it, but it was still nice to hear.

Kristy comes to pick us up. We drive home in complete silence after Kristy asks the both of us we are okay. Even I feel the need to start a conversation to escape the pressured silence, but I know that Kristy's cheeks are coated with tears.

We get to the house and Kristy says, "Julia you can go ahead inside. I would just like to talk to Diane for a second."

Julia nods even though I'm silently pleading for her to stay, and I'm sure that she knows this.

Kristy steps outside of the car and I do the same. She says, "Come here."

I hesitantly step forward.

She wraps me in a hug, "I love you. You are like a daughter to me, do you understand?"

I nod, even though I can't quite understand. Why would this lady want to help me so much? She barely knows me. She can't love me. Does she not know my history? The police officers today made it clear just how much your family history defines you. Why doesn't she choose Julia? Julia is clearly a better choice for a daughter.

She says, "Why didn't you come to me? The police officer told me that you had known for a few days that something like this was going to happen. You could have come to me. Why didn't you?"

"I...I didn't want you to get involved and end up hurt."

"You realize that I would have been willing to die for you, right Diane? We are family now. We help each other. We lay our problems on each other so the load isn't quite as heavy. We rely on each other. We trust each other. We tell the truth. Do you understand?"

I agree even if I'm not sure I understand entirely and Kristy and I walk inside to be greeted by Andrew, who's comforting Julia. We sit down for snickerdoodle cookies that Kristy stress baked. Later Molly and Austin join us, both of them sombering after learning everything that happened.

Family isn't based on blood. Family isn't your relatives or your parents or your siblings. Family is the people you trust, the people you rely on, the people you help, the people you love. Family can be your relatives, but it can be anyone else too.

Maybe my family has just been waiting for me all along. If only my father were here.

I dunk my cookie into the milk and smile.