Clandestine

sixty nine

-diane-

Kristy calls out my name. "Diane?"

"Yes?" I ask as I come out of my room.

"There's someone here to see you?"

I step into the living room.

My mouth slips open. Julia stands in the doorway.

I beckon her inside and quickly close the door behind her. I force my tone to be light, "Kristy, this is Julia."

She grins at me, "This is the girl whose house you went to earlier? That's lovely. It's a pleasure meeting you."

Julia morphs into the polite Assembly's daughter. She shakes Kristy's hand and smiles and compliments Kristy's outfit. Kristy beams and I know that Julia has already won her over. So much more than I have done.

I say, "Would it be okay if Julia spent some time in my room? We just wanted to talk for a little bit."

"Of course," Kristy says, "Julia can stay as long as she wants to and she's welcome anytime."

I wonder if Kristy would be saying that if she knew who Julia's mother was. She probably would be saying it, but she wouldn't mean it.

Julia follows me to her room. I close the door behind me and hiss, "What are you doing here?"

Julia tears fill her eyes, "My mother was going to send me to Bovenhaven."

"Bovenhaven? Isn't that on the other side--"

"Of the country. Exactly. My mother didn't trust me with her little secret, so she decided to send me away where I couldn't tell anyone."

"But you are here."

"Because I ran away."

"And won't she guess exactly where you are?"

Julia nods, "Yeah, she probably will. She might check at Carlotta or Rosalina's house first, but once she checks there, she will come here."

"So is it a good idea to be here?"

"No. It isn't. But I don't know where else to go. I can't go to Carlotta and Rosalina's. I can't get them involved."

"So you came here instead?"

"You are already involved. You are the reason I am in this problem."

I raise an eyebrow, "Well, sorry. I'm sorry that your mother wants to kill me. I understand that is my fault and I'm ever so sorry."

Julia rolls her eyes, "You know what I meant. I'm here to help you, remember? I would have had to be with you anyway to help you. This just makes things a lot easier."

"But I thought you weren't going to be with me when you were helping me. You didn't want your mother to know..."

"And she already knows, so what's the point?"

"But don't you want to be hidden so that she doesn't know you are with me? Won't she be more than furious to know that you are helping me instead of her?"

"Yes, she probably will be furious. But I don't care anymore. I don't care what she thinks of me. I don't care what she wants to do to me. As far as I'm concerned, she's not related to anymore."

I raise an eyebrow, "What did she say to you?"

"Enough to make it perfectly clear that she doesn't care about me. Not really. Maybe she cares about the idea of me. The idea of the perfect political daughter who will convince other Assembly members to join her idea of things and the daughter who will sit politely at parties and smile and make small talk and attend meetings and somehow managed to not be bored and all these other impossible things. She doesn't actually like me. She likes the idea of me. And the only reason she's shown me so much attention recently is because she wants me to feel loved. She wants me to think that she cares about me, so that I care about her. But she doesn't. She doesn't care about me. She just cares about her secrets."